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Gay guys: What should I do to become more attractive?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, May 14, 2018.

  1. Joe2001

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    It actually doesn't seem like much schools in my area have LGBT societies of any sort. However, I keep seeing things from schools in Scotland on Twitter about work that they do for LGBT rights whereas my school couldn't care less. I guess that I shouldn't complain too much, as I wasn't at school during Section 28 or just at a time when more were discriminated, but it is frustrating.
     
  2. Joe2001

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    If I go to university, ensuring that it is LGBT friendly is a definite must.
     
  3. Joe2001

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    How do straight people even find relationships? Can any of it be applied to gay relationships? It's hard to actually determine if someone is gay (usually I can guess by looking at/listening to them, but never 100% guaranteed).

    Will it only be the over the top fem types that come out or will there be gay guys with different types of personalities in my year at school? The only two guys who have allegedly said they are gay are just not my type.

    I suppose watching Love, Simon gave me a false idea of how easy it is to find a gay romance. Watch the movie to know more.
     
    #103 Joe2001, May 25, 2018
    Last edited: May 25, 2018
  4. DRobs

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    You should email the youth worker at those 2 groups I posted and ask them to send you some information. Tell them that you are 16 gay, not out to your parents, but trying to make more gay friends. Leave out the part of trying to find a boyfriend for now.

    I'd ask them what sort of activities does each group do? What is a normal meeting like? Do many kids your age attend the groups and what age ranges are there. What should you expect at a meeting.

    As far as attending the meeting - is it in a community center? Is there a gym there that you could start working out at nightly? I'm not saying you should flat out lie to your parents but if this in a community center and there are other activities going on - maybe start working out lifting weights there 3 nights a week and then on meeting nights you move over to the group instead of working out.

    When I was your age, I just had to let my parents know where I was going to be . That could be at the Library or Church or going out with friends. I road a bicycle everywhere.
     
  5. Joe2001

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    If I go to university, then I will go to the LGBT meetings there. I would have to commute into central Glasgow for these meetings, so I just need to rule them out.

    Aside from them, there seems to be nothing else.
     
    #105 Joe2001, May 25, 2018
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  6. Joe2001

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    I've given up now. It's just never going to happen. All of the odds are stacked against me both in terms of my level of attractiveness, but also the lack of gay people around me that I could be in a good relationship with. Apart from that youth group, there is literally no other options.
     
    #106 Joe2001, May 25, 2018
    Last edited: May 25, 2018
  7. DRobs

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    Don't give up so easy. Email those guys and at least find out what you are missing.
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    I think you need to look back over the whole of this thread and really reflect on the advice, support and encouragement you have received from many different members. Your latest response is defeatist and only serves to return you to the beginning of the loop.
     
  9. Joe2001

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    I made that comment when I was a bit distressed over something, so may have came across a little exaggerated.
    I've read over the thread, and I just think that the main issue now is actively looking for a boyfriend and expanding my gay social circle. I've felt really lonely for years now and am ready to have more people in my life, specifically gay guys that I can be friends/BF with. I am frustrated with the lack of feasible options for meeting gay people, and I wish that there was some way to do it at my school.

    Please trust me that I do appreciate all of the advice that I get on here. I'm not sure how I would have survived these years without the Internet.
     
    #109 Joe2001, May 25, 2018
    Last edited: May 25, 2018
  10. Barbatus

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    @Joe2001 You have remember that your age is a big factor. You are in a position where you know what you want but you still have parental supervision to take into account. You also mentioned that your school is catholic so that makes a big difference as well. So it is not really a case that you are the problem or that you cannot make friends but that your circumstances constrain your options. Once you finish school, then you could either get a job on a cruise ship and make friends or go to uni and do it.

    When you are in a situation where you can make friends, then you need to be open minded about people and make an effort to get to know them and engage with them.

    DRobs suggestion of emailing those groups is an excellent idea. You should give it a go, they might have some really good advice. And as Patrick UK said reflect on this thread - particularly your responses to suggestions as this might help you realise that you have to overcome your own resistance to trying new things if you want to get anyway.