1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Gay guys: What should I do to become more attractive?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, May 14, 2018.

  1. DRobs

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    37
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Does you local public high school have a GSA group? This youth group could be a way of making some more friends at your local public school. I'd bet the youth group is social group with some activities - who knows what.
     
  2. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Pretty much every school around here is Catholic, and I can't attend a GSA group if I don't attend the school.
     
  3. Barbatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2016
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    These are exactly the groups you should be joining. They are aimed at your age range and provide a forum for getting to know other gay people. You've already pretty much rejected any hobby group as an option so don't impose the expectation that they 'do something' when you won't join a group based on an activity. These will be more support social groups rather than activity groups.

    These are what is available in your area and you dismiss them out of hand. You've got to try stuff before ruling it out. Every suggestion presented to you, you come up with a reason why it won't work for you, and I understand where that is coming from, but you've got put your negativity aside and try stuff anyway.
     
    #83 Barbatus, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
  4. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    713
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The Glasgow youth group seems like your best chance at the relationship you want at your current age based on what you've said. Yea it might have 13 year old kids in it but so what? You don't have to stay around the 13 year old people. You can mingle with guys your own age in the group without having to interact with the younger kids much if you don't want to.
     
  5. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    You're probably right. It's likely just my social anxiety that's kicking in a bit. The main issue at the moment is that my parents don't know and I can't sneak out of the house each week to go to the meetings.
     
  6. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Here's what I am looking for if I were to get a boyfriend.
    - I couldn't give a monkey's about masc vs fem. What I can't stand is when they are too much of one or the other. The overly masc types scare me, and whilst I like fem guys as people, I couldn't have a relationship with a flamboyant type that is constantly "on" 24/7 (if you know what I mean). I just find that exhausting.
    - Someone who I find physically attractive. I'm the judge of that, but there should be enough choices out there. I love the really cute types and blue eyes are a bonus. I have my type as does everyone else.
    - Someone who is kind and endearing. Someone who I can just love being around and feel equal to. Not an arrogant, loud or gobby person who thinks only of themselves or treats me as lesser than them.
    - Someone who isn't emotionally needy and can help support themselves.
    - Someone who has their own desires in life and isn't 'behind' me (if that makes sense).

    Those are 5 key things off the top of my head. Are they unrealistic or could I find someone who fits the mold?
     
    #86 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
  7. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    713
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Those are completely fair criteria to have, and you can definitely find someone who fits that mold. The only thing that stands out to me a bit is the being 'behind you' part. I get what you meant - you want someone equal in ambition to you and not someone who wouldn't be willing to work as hard at things as you. If you do find a really nice person though, it shouldn't matter much if their job isn't as important as yours or doesn't pay much, the guy himself should be more important to you than his social status.
     
  8. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes - that's what I meant. I don't want someone who is behind me in life experience or just someone who I feel like I am dragging along. I don't have an issue with the job, however, if someone was content living on minimum wage all of their life and don't seem motivated to do anything, then quite frankly, I am not dealing with that.
     
    #88 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
  9. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It seems as if a school romance ain't happening (unless my crush comes out), so other than the youth group, I haven't got much else to try. Underage for apps or clubs and want to meet people the old-fashioned way. Straight people have it so easy.
     
    #89 Joe2001, May 24, 2018
    Last edited: May 24, 2018
  10. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Will need to put my mind to it, but pretty sure that finding a boyfriend before leaving school is impossible.
     
    #90 Joe2001, May 24, 2018
    Last edited: May 24, 2018
  11. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    713
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It might be, but at least you would have tried and given yourself a chance at finding a relationship. It would be much worse to later realize you missed out on it because you didn't try than because the circumstances were just unlucky but you did everything you could.
     
  12. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    That's true. Do you think that the LGBT group is the only option or is there much else?
     
  13. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    713
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Unless you happen to be able to find someone at school, the youth group does seem like the only good option at the moment due to your age and what you've said. No one 18 or above is legally allowed to date you (if it's the same in Scotland as it is in the U.S.) and like you said you can't use dating apps yet, so your options are limited to finding a gay guy in person around the 15-17 age range which is pretty hard to do without going to a specific thing for it like the youth group.

    You'll have tons of other options once you turn 18 though - so there's definitely hope for the future.
     
    #93 Destin, May 24, 2018
    Last edited: May 24, 2018
  14. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    There are a couple of allegedly gay guys in my year at school, but I'm not really interested. I'm not sure what the laws are.
     
  15. Barbatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2016
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The law in Scotland (and the UK) is pretty tricky. The age of consent is 16 but (and it is a big but) you are still classed as a minor in most circumstances so anyone who is 18 or older will be in high risk territory. Even if they don't meet the legal threshold for grooming etc, most people will assume that grooming has taken place or that they are otherwise exploiting you.

    Not to mention that an 18 year old would be a bad boyfriend anyway because they are likely to be leaving for uni soon and unlikely to want to maintain a relationship with someone younger and in school. Also it is unlikely that any 18 year old who is interested in a 16 year olds going to be mature or the kind of person you are looking for. Basically just stick with you own age group until you hit 18. Then it won't raise any legal issues.

    You also need to consider what your parents would say if they found out. Most likely they would assume that anyone older lead you on. And, more generally, why would an 18 year be interested in a 16 year old anyway. Just as you find those younger you immature, they would probably find you to be so as well.

    Anyway, the law is tricky and you are better off not getting involved with anyone whose 18 and above.
     
  16. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I understand your reasons and will stick to someone around my age, but that does mean that I have essentially no options. The LGBT youth group is about the only option. I wish that more gay people in my year would come out. I have 0 interest in those who are allegedly out.
     
    #96 Joe2001, May 24, 2018
    Last edited: May 24, 2018
  17. Barbatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2016
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well most of the restrictions on your options are due to you ruling out your own age group. The youth groups are not just for finding a partner; for you they will be an avenue for you to make friends and meet people. That really needs to be your priority because the chances are that any relationship will not last (it does happen but rarely) and friends are much more long term.

    If you aren't going to consider you own age group then you really need to wait until 18.
     
  18. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am willing to consider my own age group. Who knows what the future will hold in terms of boyfriends, but I do at least want to try.
     
  19. Barbatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2016
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Trying is the first and necessary step. Just keep an open mind and try to establish a social network.
     
  20. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,007
    Likes Received:
    3,853
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Are you certain you cannot attend a GSA at a school you do not attend? Some GSAs are pretty flexible and realize the problem of kids like you who are stuck in oppressive school environments. This might be worth looking into and sending an email.