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Gay guys: What should I do to become more attractive?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, May 14, 2018.

  1. Barbatus

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    @Joe2001 No need to put such pressure on yourself. It is not your responsibility to change people perceptions of Scottish people (even though there are positive and negative perceptions of every people; I'm sure you've heard some negative statement about English people). Just focus on being the best version of yourself you can be - and by best version I mean the one that you are happy with. Forget other people, they will be more impressed by how you carry yourself than whether you can fake an English accent. Personally, I think being Scottish would help you stand out from the crowd and you could use that to your advantage by just being good at your job with the accent making you memorable.
     
  2. DRobs

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    I don't see anything wrong with learning to speak proper English. Do keep your roots though.

    Here's a for instance. I grew up in the Chicago area. There is a Chicago "Good Fella's / Mafia" type of accent. I can lay it on when I want to or feel I need to.

    Spending some time in Kentucky, South Carolina, Texas, and now Missouri. I can lay on a bit of a southern accent when I want to as well.
     
  3. SevnButton

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    Well-said, @DRobs ! Don't think of is as "losing" your accent, think of it as acquiring another. The established one is always available.
     
  4. Denstracer

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    Can't relate to that haha
     
  5. Joe2001

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    My reason for saying that is that men are visual and place more emphasis on how physically attractive someone is, not to mention all of the sub divisions that exist in the gay community. They just come across as slightly picky.
     
  6. Denstracer

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    I guess that's true, but in my case my standards could not get any lower.
     
  7. Joe2001

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    I sort of wish that I was straight because that would make finding a relationship so much more easier, not to mention that girls are less visual than guys.

    It seems impossible to date as an unattractive 16 year old gay guy.
     
  8. Destin

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    I don't think girls are less visual than guys, they just aren't as obvious about it. I've heard girls critique and rate the tiniest things about a guy's body like arm hair thickness and jawline shape. Guys seem interested in the more noticeable things like chest, muscles, legs etc. but girls get hyper focused and judgmental about tiny things most guys would never even think of.

    It's also not impossible for you to date. I still highly doubt you're as unattractive as you think, but even if you are, there's definitely other unattractive (and some attractive) gay guys looking for dates out there somewhere too who would love to have you as a partner.
     
  9. Joe2001

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    Sorry to jump on the bandwagon a bit, if I were to date a guy that I am not at all attracted to, I may as well just date a woman and make my life easier.

    Girls do have a different perspective than guys on things and have different desires for relationships, so that formed the basis of my statement.

    I'm not sure how to and where to find a date though. It's so much easier for the straight guys in my year at school.
     
  10. Barbatus

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    You still reading too much into stereotypes. Not all gay guys are focused about appearance or fashion. Not all girls are either. Some straight guys are big on appearance (in fact a stereotype about straight guys is that the only care about a woman appearance and body).

    Pretty much everyone is into a minimal level of hygiene but beyond that, not all gay guys are visual or concerned about what current standards of looks are. (Just as not all gay guys are dancers or artists etc etc).

    By focusing on being yourself you'll meet guys who care about similar things to you.
     
    #70 Barbatus, May 22, 2018
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  11. Joe2001

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    Statistically, it would be easier to date if I were straight though.
    There are so many straight people in the year group that no doubt, there is someone that one can be compatible with (unless they are a bad person or have 0 people skills). Even if not, there are some people who are a year older/a year younger or even some people have partners outside school. I know of some people who are in relationships, either in or out of school. Even I got asked to prom by someone (turned them down since I would only take a guy as a date).

    There are around 125 people in my year at school. That would mean about just over 60 guys. If I think statistically, let's say that 5 are gay. I am one of them, so there are 4 people. Not much to choose from, not to mention whether or not I am interested in them and vice-versa.

    A lot of people seem to think it is easy to find a date as a gay teen, but it really isn't. Especially if you don't know much gay people or feel as if you fit any category of the gay community.
     
    #71 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
  12. OGS

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    I have to say that it doesn't seem to me that dating as a gay teen would be easy. Your pool is going to be very small and many people who should be in your pool aren't going to be out. To a large degree I think it kind of is what it is. The good news is that it can totally change once you're more independent and have more control over your own context. When I came out most people I came out to had literally never met an out gay person, now it's probably a little better even where I'm from but nothing like where I choose to live. Where I live now you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a gay guy. As you get older you will have the opportunity to take more control of your life--when that time comes seize it! Don't just let it happen, make it happen!
     
  13. Joe2001

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    It seems that way to me as well. I suppose that there is not much I can do, but it will be one of my biggest regrets if I never have any relationship in my teens. I'm 16 just now, still have 3.5 years left. I also want to work on cruise ships, which are notoriously hard to find love on.
     
    #73 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
  14. OGS

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    Are they? I've known people who have worked on cruise ships and that's definitely not the impression I have.
     
  15. Joe2001

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    Well, if you are stuck on a ship for 2-9 months, then it's not as if you can go out on the gay scene or something like that. I've seen people find love before, but also bear in mind that people on cruise ships will be of all different cultures and nationalities, so that can make things a lot harder.
     
  16. Joe2001

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    I just find this frustrating. A lot of people around me are in relationships or have at least a small bit of experience in them, whereas I have nothing. From next week on, I am going to try and get fitter and hopefully I will return to school looking much better after this Summer, but that doesn't resolve the issue of being the only fish in a huge pond (i.e. one of the few gay guys in a heteronormative world).

    I've got 3.5 years left of my teens. Next year could be an opportunity, but I've been at my school for 6 years and nothing has came out of it, so what would make next year different? Then, my plans are up in the air, as to whether I go to uni or go straight to ships.
     
  17. DRobs

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  18. Joe2001

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    What do youth groups actually do? I had a look at the links, but there seems to be a group for all LGBT teens aged between 13 and 18. It's too much of a wide age range and half the people won't be of the right preference to start with. The others are either for lesbian teens or transgender teens.
    I would go if it were like a 15-17 or a 16-18 one for gay teenage guys.
     
    #78 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
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  19. DRobs

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    I'm sure they keep the age range broad to get as to get many people into the groups as possible. Being these groups are right in your area what would it hurt to check them out - join in?

    The other thing you could do is start a Gay Straight Alliance group at your High School. Take a leadership position - be mentor and or activist. Looking at those links I'd bet you could find some sponsors. A leadership role would be a good extracurricular activity on University application. I don't know how university works in the UK but in the US schools look at grades and after school activities.

    Goes back to building yourself as a person.

    When I was your age I was involved in Church Youth Groups which were similar age ranges. Plus I was an Explorer (Police & Fire) - similar to Boy Scouts but oriented towards youth that want to become police officers or firemen. Got to drive Oshkosh Fire Truck on US Navy Base at age 15 with a learner permit. Also learned CPR / First Aid and got to cut roof off a car with the Jaws of Life.
     
  20. Joe2001

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    It's a Catholic school, so no chance of being allowed to do that. As much as I would like to do so, there's no way that it is possible. Catholics and gays are two words that cannot appear in the same sentence, not to mention that I could face backlash from pupils, teachers and parents.
     
    #80 Joe2001, May 23, 2018
    Last edited: May 23, 2018