Gay Guy Gets Panic Attack When Looking At Women - HELP!!!!!!

First, Welcome to EC!

Secondly, sudden anxiety can arise as a result of a variety of psychological reactions and emotions. When we feel irrational reactions to certain types of people, it is often caused by either past experiences or fear. Sometimes our past experiences can cause us to project the negativity or harm that we have received from someone of a certain demographic on everyone else of that demographic. Other times, our own insecurities and uncertainty can cause us to fear being exposed to certain people.

How smoothly was your coming to terms with your sexuality? Was it something that causes you a fair amount of worry as a child? Did you spend a lot of time in the closet?

 

This is a guess of one possibility. The mild panic disorder you describe sounds like it is induced by the fear of anxiety. That's why it only happens when you think about it. Fear of anxiety is caused by stress so this suggests there is a base level of stress going on while in the presence of women. This could be the result of recently coming out and a concern with how women see or judge you now. Worrying over if it causes additional stress and a feedback loop begins to build up until you have a sudden panic attack.

 

Closeted individuals commonly experience degrees of anxiety when exposed to the opposite sex under certain circumstances because it reminds them of the reality of their sexuality. It sounds as though these experiences are being brought on by the memories of panic and distress that you experienced during your childhood of struggling with acceptance. You likely suffered through years of seeing the opposite sex and experiencing a sense of panic because you were unsure of how you were expected to react. The thoughts that you should have been thinking, but weren't; the attraction that you should have experienced, but didn't.

I would work on attempting to be more genuine with yourself about who you are and what you desire. Simply because we are accepting of our sexuality doesn't mean we are actively embracing it. Acknowledging the presence of our attractions doesn't necessarily bring us to a point where we are completely comfortable with them. Eventually, we have to reach a point when our attractions to the same sex and disinterest in the opposite sex doesn't still leave us feeling partially or noticeably guilty and deviant. Try to reassure yourself in those moments that there is still nothing wrong with not being attracted to the opposite sex and you don't have to scramble for reactions and emotions that simply aren't there.

 

Have you researched HOCD before?

 

Gen raises an interesting point, because I have went through this and still do sometimes. I'm also closeted never dated a woman in real life, and I'm semi out of the closet. I don't get panic attacks but it's more of a nervous uneasy feeling around the opposite sex.

 

Welcome to EC! :welcome: :smilewave. I can attest from experience due to the fact that I don't really want to tell the pretty girl that's interested in me that I'm gay. I just don't have the heart to break her heart sometimes, and that's why I panic. :/

 

I GET THIS ALL THE TIME!!! We can't feel what each other is feeling obviously, but I have a good feeling that it's the same thing. Yesterday it happened when I looked at the big giant lug nuts on a tow truck. And it happens a lot when I accidentally look at someone's butt, like, anyone at all. It's really annoying and I feel weird! I think it's normal, and I don't think it has a deep profound meaning but I think it may be linked to anxiety and more about that.

 

If you're thinking that something you don't want to happen could happen, that's bound to cause some nerves- especially if you've anxiety. I've had that too with men and have (had) GAD.

 

I need to get over my HOCD as well. I also get anxiety when I look at guys. Especially if they are good looking or androgynous. I compulsively research what sexual attraction feels like and it's messing with me. Before I researched sexual attraction I only got anxiety and groinal responses. After I started researching it my false attraction started to be more realistic! I started to "blush" and get "speechless".