Gay guy... but fantasizing about being a lesbian...?

Hey, what's up

Not sure that this is similar in any way but if it makes you feel any better..
I'm a lesbian, but in my mind I picture myself as a man most of the time.

And when I fantasize (i like guy-on-guy tmi) I often catch myself as a dude. It's crazy, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable.

I identify as a cis woman and don't plan on doing otherwise. I guess it's just the way my brain likes to work Haha

And who says it's permanent?

 

I have actually seen thus before, with trans people who first identify as gay, then transition and identify as straight but become gay again e.g. attracted to the same gender. This particularly happens with trans women who eventually realize they were mainly into men because it made them feel feminine, not because they were actually attracted, but they don't discover this until their gender dysphoria is removed. Does this seem like something you may be going through? Do you experience grnder dysphoria?

 

I'll preface with the fact that I'm not completely sure if I'm bi or a lesbian, but I've had a lot of fantasies of me being a guy who is with a girl. When I think about me being a guy who is with a guy, I get mixed feelings. Sometimes I'm into it, other times it feels weird. I don't know if this clarifies anything (it isn't for me, anyways), but letting you know you're not alone. My roommate told me that she has a lot of gay friends who, if they had been born (and identified as) the opposite gender, they would still be gay (i.e. if a lesbian had been born/identified as a man, he'd be into guys and vice versa). Apparently a lot of gay people feel that way- that it's the gayness, and not necessarily the other person's gender, that plays the biggest factor. As if gay people have a gay temperament or something. I don't know- but you're not alone in questioning/having these fantasies!

 

ugh okay im responding to my own comment months later to say that, like @Gleek99 , I find that guy/guy turns me on a lot. I love how the OP said he felt "relaxed" when thinking about lesbians, because i feel that way when i think about being a gay man. I have a lot of gender dysphoria (not that I feel like I'm a trans man, it's just that I don't quite feel like a woman, either), but I think that femininity is just painful and hard to ever feel comfortable in.

 

I think this is more common that people think. People fantasize about all kinds of things. I have fantasized about being a bi man. I'm a bi woman though. It's normal to wonder how others experience things. I've heard even straight men sometimes fantasize about having lesbian sex. People are just naturally curious. You sound normal to me.

 

It also can say something about your sexuality. If you're fantasizing about women together it might mean you're bi. Being turned on by two men together is part of what inspired me to explore my own sexuality.

 

I'm a ciswoman and sometimes I think of myself as a man when masturbating but I don't want to be a man. I don't know why but you're not the only one.

 

I have for years fantasized about being a woman (I am not trans)...sometimes I think I was meant to be one but I have a lot of masculine likes; cars, working on building projects, sports, etc....but there’s s part of me that I think alwAys wanted to be female

 

I have sometimes wished I were male too. But I'm a woman and happy to be so. I think it's normal to wonder what it's like on the other side of the fence so to speak.