I’ve noticed on TikTok, gay male creators posting camp/feminine photos of themselves as children to prove that gay people are self evidently born that way, and it reminds of a question I’ve always had about gay stereotypes. Let me preface this by saying I’m not asking this from a place of negativity; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or feminine or both. But if gay men are gay because they’re feminine, shouldn’t it be expected that they be attracted to masculinity? Yet preferring “ masc” types of men seems to be viewed negatively in the gay community. Just curious what others perspectives on this topic might be
@Saintly89 I believe that it is more acceptable for gay men to express the feminine sides of their personalities. That doesn’t mean that gay men must, naturally, be more effeminate than straight men. I have a gay brother. The last thing you would ever describe him as is feminine. It’s just not who he is. My FWB is also very masculine and two of my best friends, a gay couple, are also masculine. I’m on the masculine end of the spectrum and that doesn’t change the attraction I have for other masculine men. We all have preferences as to what we are attracted to. Our orientation doesn’t mean that we must behave in a certain way. Unfortunately, for many straight guys, they feel they must hide the feminine parts of their personality. So, you just don’t see that as often. That’s just my opinion based on the gay and straight men in my life. But, my least masculine friend is one of my straight friends cause he doesn’t give a shit what others think!
No not necessarily. Unless that person has discovered they are somewhere on the gender nonconforming spectrum (trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, bigender, genderqueer, agender, etc.) they are still a man no matter how feminine they may act. Some guys are really into feminine men, and while they're usually not my cup of tea in that way I respect that.
I don't think there is any connection between how you look/behave and who you are attracted to. It's individual preference. Of course it make sense to be gentle and seductive to attract those muscles, but it's not a rule. Some people like to be with someone who share their interests. Others want someone who is different, because they complement each other and that is attractive to them.
Although I'm not gay, I am very bi and have a very strong gay side. While I am somewhat feminine, or at aleast have some feminine charateistics I would say I lean more towards the masculine side of the spectrum. With that said, I am almost only attracted to masculine men, feminine men just aren't my type really. I wonder if this has to do with identifying as a bottom, wanting to be the submissive one during sex, wanting to be protected, etc.
Some gay men are naturally effeminate. It's not an act and they are not camping it up, they are just being their authentic selves. In those cases where gay men create content on social media that exaggerates femininity or campness, I would suggest it's a reaction to society and represents a bit of push back against judgemental attitudes. I don't necessarily agree that they are trying to present a stereotype. By now, society should know that gay men and lesbian women do not conform to various stereotypes, but we know there are closed minded people who haven't moved on from the attitudes of 40 or 50 years ago. Let's be honest, there are some straight people who exaggerate aspects of their personality far more than anyone who is gay, e.g. 'alpha' males.
Gay men come in all persuasions, types, shapes and sizes and hurrah for that. My own brother is a case in point - he is as 'straight' as they come in all aspects of his personality - dress sense, manner, cultural affiliations, music choice etc etc - bar his sexuality.
I’ve heard my girlfriends talking about wishing guys could be more effeminate but admitting it was always the very masculine ones they liked. I find myself becoming more effeminate now that I no longer pretend I am straight ( it feels very natural to me to be a little girly sometimes) but like my girlfriends I am very attracted to masculine guys, too and am glad not all gays are this way.
I've met and know some pretty feminine sounding and acting heterosexual men before so I personally would be unable to use that as a accurate sign of another man's sexuality but in saying that I can understand why many would think along those lines. Some men just have a personality, for whatever reason, that other's would deem more feminine than masculine. I'm masculine, I've always been masculine and prefer masculine men. I don't have a feminine bone in my body so there's nothing that would tell you I'm gay if you were to meet me on the street. I won't change.
I don't have a preference. The person could be fem or masc . Its the person that I am attracted to. Not just just looks but whats in their heart.
