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Gay accusations

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Kevins1197, Jan 27, 2020.

  1. Nickw

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    I think I will next time I am in town. I did find out where he works (has his own studio). So, stopping by his work someday is on my list. I did meet him at my 20 year high school reunion (20 years ago) He had just come out and was doing a big fund raiser for AIDS research. He, sorta, outed me to my wife. I think he was fishing a bit at the time. Told my wife about how we used to sleep (actual sleep) together as kids and how tight we were. At the time my wife and I had a very active sex life and I was in my prime and being noticed by the ex cheerleaders. And, my wife has really bad gaydar.

    I think it is harder to identify bisexuals. I’ve started people watching a bit more and can tell often when someone is attracted to another person. I’m sure many of us do this subconsciously. Bisexuals might throw this off.
     
  2. Chizu

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    People have accused me of being too feminine since I was seven. When I was eight or nine was when I was first accused of being gay. I didn't know what it was and asked, and was told it was a guy who likes guys. I said no, and couldn't comprehend why it'd be a bad thing. When I was eleven and twelve, girls for some reason accused me more than guys, I think it might have been because they weren't as homophobic so they didn't see it as being rude to ask me, but they should have just minded their own business.
    When I was thirteen, the accusations started getting more serious. I eventually just lied and started to call women hot whenever the other boys did. Well, technically I didn't lie, since I just said they were hot, and not that I personally thought they were hot. I really had no idea I was gay prior to high school. My parents royally screwed me over by providing me with no sex education. I actually thought I was sick and crazy when I started going through puberty. All my dad told me was I was going to grow pubes, that's it. School didn't teach me anything.
    In high school, all the other boys ever talked about was sex and sexual related things, so through them, and other bits and pieces I started to collect from TV and the internet (which was a way a sketchier place back then), I was able to learn what puberty brings and realize I'm not sick and crazy, but that's when it finally hit me that I'm gay. Sadly, me seriously questioning my sexuality came when a bully asked me if I masturbate to gay things. It kind of hit me in the head.
    So when I was 15 going on 16, I realized I might be gay. I kept hoping I'd change, but we all know how that works. 17 I realized I'll never change. Coincidentally, the accusations died down by then. Mainly because my accusers were always my bullies, some of them transferred by then, some graduated. The others that I was stuck with until graduation started to bully me for my mental illnesses, which to them was a more enjoyable thing to torment me for than whatever they perceived my sexuality to be. Of course, I'm pretty sure most of my mental illnesses were caused by them, funny how that works.
     
    #22 Chizu, Jan 28, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2020
  3. Benway

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    People over the years have just assumed I'm gay. More people than I probably think have just written me off as "that fat queer," or something. It wasn't until I started mentioning that I might be queer that people started making more forward accusations, even though they were not the people I mentioned it to, almost as if the word spread like wildfire that "Oh, my gosh! There's a fat, hairy queer!" It's called being a "bear," but nobody listens. Hell, I figured that one out way later than I should have. Just another roadblock on the way to me understanding my own effing identity.
     
  4. CatWho

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    When I started a job, several years ago, a co-worker came up to me and said, "So, what's your deal? You into guys or girls?" It totally caught me off guard, as I was just starting to come to the realization myself. I just turned to him and said, "My deal is none of your business." He smiled, said " that's a fair answer" and walked away. So, I didn't deny it, but realized I didn't have to explain myself to him.
     
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  5. Kevins1197

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    I’ve always been attracted to boys and girls but strangely enough the girls I’m attracted to or were attracted to usually were gay or bi themselves.

    my two best friends from middle school both came out gay after high school. In 4th grade I think I had a crush on my friend Derek and would swap clothes and shoes with each other, but that got me in trouble.
     
  6. 1cgd

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    I was called every gay slur in the book until middle school, which is around the time I became more skilled in hiding my mannerisms, walking and talking differently, and gaining the discipline to not get rock hard while showering with the guys after gym class. Since coming out last year, this facade has slowly peeled away and while I’m by no means femme, I think a stranger would assume I’m gay.

    Friends have told me they can’t believe they didn’t realize how gay I am, but that’s because I worked to the bone to hide it. Whatever stage I was at in hiding it or peeing it away, I definitely registered immediately on my fiancé’s gaydar and other guys I knew over the years who are gay said they always knew. So, it wasn’t perfect.

    And before you ask, in spite of this peeling away, I can still shower without getting hard.
    :wink:
     
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  7. ready2bout

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    I have been accused of being gay by a close friend and have always denied it. I finally accepted that I am gay about 10 years ago. Still in the closet but trying to come out.
     
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  8. DecentOne

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    The older we get, the less tough that becomes.
     
  9. gravechild

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    I lost a good friend in middle school to male peer pressure. He eventually got mixed in with the wrong crowd, and I still don't think he's out (assuming he's gay, which everyone seemed convinced of). Eats me up inside, that I let some kid we barely knew do that sort of thing, but it was a different time and place. I certainly didn't want to become a bigger target

    So many boys name called, it was hard to tell when they genuinely believed it or were "being boys". Looking back, one guy DEFINITELY had to be, since he would accuse us of doing some pretty outrageous things that most straight men wouldn't entertain. Combined with his sexual conquest bragging and general vibes...

    The f word was one of the worst things you could call another male, so perhaps on a subconscious level it was an attempt to ward off accusations while at the same time giving into the "macho" culture. I've been both the bullied and the bully, though perhaps less "successful" than the former

    My father loves to brag how he taught me to talk "like a man" (apparently, he blames me spending my first few years with my mother, aunt, grandmother, on my speaking in an effeminate voice). Looking back at early childhood pictures, yeah, I can see a slightly feminine body language, expressions. He has his own issues with women, so I could see that would "trigger" him.

    Some of my earliest crushes in school were male, but I thought of them as simply being close friendships. Perhaps they sensed this and distanced themselves? One tried to introduce me to a group of girls but I had no interest lol. Same when a female friend asked me out. Yeah, there were rumors of a certain uncle, but otherwise, I knew nothing of the topic