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Funny Vent Thread: What's Your Gender Faux Pas?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Foxfeather, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. Foxfeather

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    Tell me about your dysphoria or gay moments, but make yourself laugh in the process. Go.

    My Gender Is...
    When other men dress in masculine clothing, their gender is male.

    When I dress in masculine clothing, my gender is...
    Korean pop star

    I Can't Stop Staring....
    ...at women's breasts. And I'm sick of it. I want to be able to ask women to dance, but I'm super short.

    AFAB-ULOUS
    I can't find any men's shoes in my size or men's shoes in my size. So my clothing is always a mixture of masculine and feminine. Imagine a man wearing women's skinny jeans. And they fit him so perfectly, he might just be (just might be) an AFAB.

    I'll Have What She's Having
    One time, I was at a Thai restaurant and some girl orders the exact same thing I had. And it was just super strange how she said it. "I just noticed her eating [it's weird that she noticed me eating anything] that and it looks soooo good."

    She started going off on this little ramble with the cashier. I've never seen anyone take that long to order food except when ordering catering.

    And then, when she got her food, she starting staring at me while eating. Like legitimately watching me eat. So there was this super awkward moment where I was staring at her while eating my food, while she was eating her food, which was also my food, and staring at me, because she was staring at me while eating her food. And she gives me a look as if I had just bought her a drink at the bar, just because we were eating the same food at the same time.

    My brain goes on autopilot and I start to replay a scene where a straight girl once told me, "You have really full lips." I choke on my food. She's still staring and eating.

    At this point, I had to look away. It was just way too awkward and weird, not sexy at all. Something about the whole encounter just felt so wrong and super, super gay.
     
  2. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    Other people manning up: Doing manly things.

    Me: Spending an hour in the bathroom to look masculine (and good). Seriously, there is a lot of stuff you can do and the results are great.
     
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  3. Sebby45

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    Putting on a binder and seeing how big your stomach really is. :disappointed: Needless to say I am a little on the chubby side, even if I work out, etc.
     
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  4. Crisalide

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    - Trying to talk deepest possible but loosing concentration and sounding like a kid with his mouth full of food.

    - Being bisexual and androgyne and wondering: "Which one is my hetero side, now? I don't know."

    - Fighting with my luggage (kicking it, hugging it, falling over it) because I haven't enough strength to lift it up to the luggage rack BUT no one shall help me because it would be so feminine.

    - My hair sometimes looks like those horrible medieval haircuts in France that looked like an upturned bowl on the head.
     
  5. Crisalide

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    shall=I won't let anyone help. I just wanted it to sound more solemn (?).
     
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  6. Myles Kramer

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    *kid at the grocery store pointing at me* MOM IS THAT A BOY OR A GIRL *me beaming back an embarrassed and proud smile*
     
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  7. Krishebble

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    Talking in my higher register and getting deep in a conversation. And then realizing I have slipped into a super-sexy alto sound without meaning to.
     
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  8. Crisalide

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    I've always found alto voices the most pleasant and fascinating of all.
    (Just hear Gwyneth Paltrow talk or Lisa Gerrard sing)
     
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  9. Kodo

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    Realizing than learning ballet isn't exactly going to help me come across as masculine. Ah well, at least when I am on testosterone I will be hella fabulous. I mean, have you seen danseurs?
     
  10. Foxfeather

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    One time, two little boys got in an ARGUMENT about whether I was male or female. When I was in high school. An ARGUMENT. AFTER seeing my hair and face and hearing me talk in my girly voice.

    So once again. HOW is it that my family hasn't figured out I'm trans?
     
  11. Myles Kramer

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    I know! quite a few of my oldest friends have come out over the years to be trans, as well as making new friends who are trans too and I don't hide that from my mom.. it should not really be hard to put two and two together???
     
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  12. Crisalide

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    (This is little sad)
    My mom and I argument like husband and wife do.
    She says that I'm not listening to her or I'm having a numb face like I'm not listening, that I don't love her because I don't share my feelings and don't have empathy.
    I say that she always complains for nothing, she talks with ten words when only two are needed, she expects me to understand her feelings at a glance as if I were an oracle.
    She's divorced and I have a theory that she misses a husband to fight with, so I'm the substitute. "YOU'RE LIKE YOUR FATHER", she screams, "You and your father and your father's family and your whole shitty descent." It sounds almost medieval-epic.
    Days ago she said literally that I behave like a husband (which is for her: BAD like evil, Lol).
     
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  13. SomeUsername

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    I've also had the experience of kids arguing over my gender. I was a counsellor in an art program and these two little girls got into a full-on debate over whether I was a boy or a girl. I know they were probably just confused because of my short hair but I was still really happy. I know I probably should have stopped them or something but I couldn't bring myself to...besides, they weren't in the group of kids I was in charge of. Not my division. Later during the same program I was walking toward the women's restroom and I could've sworn some mom ahead of me gave me a weird look before letting the door drop. Like, lady, I'm just trying to take a pee. I decided not to follow her into the bathroom and went down the hall instead.
     
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  14. clockworkfox

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    That moment when you find a FANTASTIC dress, and the first thought through your mind is "Ugh, now if only I looked more male..."
     
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  15. Kodo

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    Plotting all those outfits you're going to wear when you transition...
     
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  16. Foxfeather

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    You know, even though I'm pretty sure I'm trans or at least genderqueer, I'm still stuck in these feminine traps. Like when I see a dress and think it's cute even though I wore a dress like once every five years. or when I still think pink is a neat color but I have to deliberately avoid it now because I get called ma'am (I hate that word) too much currently and it drives me nuts.

    I'm trans but I grew up for a long time as a woman, was raised to be a woman. I'll never be a he-man but I'm already more masculine than 90% of the guys I know in terms of hobbies. Just because I know how to sew and shit and never beat someone bloody doesn't mean I'm a woman or cisgendered. It's like saying a guy who can cook, sew, and knit a woman. I don't get it. Gender roles, why do we still assign them?
     
  17. Foxfeather

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    I'm like the son my father never had. Believe me.
     
  18. Foxfeather

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    You know how girls hold clothes up to their bodies in dressing rooms to see how good they look with them?

    I feel like if someone just slapped a dick on me. Like just slapped a dick onto the front of my pants. All of a sudden, everyone is going to just go, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh..." and come to some big understanding.

    "Lesbian" isn't the right label for me. "Sir" is. It just makes sense with the way I dress, behave, and carry myself.
     
  19. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    My passing is fantastic. But now even though I'm pre-T every time I gotta show my ID it's trouble.

    Without pic: "errr...whose is that?" - "Actually mine." - *weird stare*

    Even with (old) pic: "You can't get that with the ID of your sister. But nice try..."
     
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  20. tomboyprettyboy

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    My gender is:
    "are you a boy or a girl?"
    sorry stranger, not even I have a clear answer to that
    [GETTING EXCITED AND REALLY HAPPY ON THE INSIDE - THEY ASKED ME IF I AM A BOY OR A GIRL, MY LIFE IS COMPLETE]

    my sexual orientation is:
    too queer to be wih a straight girl, too straight to be with a lesbian
    also if I go with another androgynous amab is that gay or straight or lesbian-ish??? what lol

    clothing:
    now, that's the funny part, wish I could pass more as female even just to wear and buy feminine clothing but readapting masculine clothing (and occasional clothes "stolen" for the female department) for a pretty boy style makes me happy and I like being flatchested in feminine clothing, imaging passing as full girl but getting people confused because you have no breasts, really awesome, I refuse to wear fake breasts just because otherwise it's confusing lol tho I suffer from social anxiety so I am stuck in my pretty boy comfort zone
    I pass as a gay guy but I'm actually trying to pass as a lesbian lol I love dressing like a tomboy, you know, like masculine large jackets and then boyshorts,and actually I think that kind of outfit would look good with breasts lol "genderfluidity" anyone?
     
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