Funniest, Dumbest, weirdest or most Ridiculous injury you have ever had

Once my childhood friend bit my nose and then showed up at school with a purple nose. Everyone was like, are you alright? while I tried keeping a poker face.

 

1. When I was 7 my mom accidently scratched my eye with a giant stuffed animal chicken

2. At a summer camp, the craft's lady made me press little jewels into hot glue. While I was doing that, she dripped hot glue directly on my hand and then wouldn't move when I tried to get to the sink to get it to stop burning my tiny hand flesh.

3. Freshman year I tripped and slid down a really crowded staircase. Now I have a permanent butt lump on my right asscheek.

 

Last year, when I was 25, I thought it would be cool to roll over in my sleep and fall off my bed. Ended up bruised.
When I was 12, I was messing around with a soccer team mate after practice, and I was tending goal. She shot, and I dove, ended up hitting my head pretty bad on hard ground. Probably gave myself a concussion, but didn't go see the doctor.

 

Um, this is a hard one... Well there was this one time not too long ago when i was talking to my sister and i opened the car door and i hit my head on it. But probably the funniest is when i was in gym class and i tried to jump over a bench and my feet got caught on the bottom, i fell face first , scorpioned, and somehow got a bruise on my lower back! That bench is now slightly tilted...

 

I stiff legged myself in a track meet, did a flip and slammed onto my upper back. I was about 16 or 17. It hurt like hell for days but I hate going to the doctor so I never said anything. I had pain for years between the spine and scapula. About ten years later A friend noticed me always trying to rub the area and massage the muscle. She was a massage therapist and worked on it for about 10 minutes and the pain was gone. She then told me that she had felt a rib pop back into place. So, I was walking around with this displaced rib for ten years and probably could have have had it taken care of anytime.

 

On my first day of Kindergarten (5 years old), I ran into a barbed wire fence at my dad's motor pool (US Army Ft Carson CO). Had to have stitches, just missed my right eye, still have a scar.

 

Besides me fracturing my middle finger on my leg (7th or 8th grade) I have also...

-Sliced a line down my thumb with scissors making a toilet paper roll project (3rd grade)

-Hitting my knees every time I sit at the piano (recent)

-Falling down a mountain (7th grade)

-Getting bit by my neighbor when I scared him (really little, not sure what age)

-Falling off a golf cart in a garage because I was standing on the back and my sister pressed the gas pedal (pretty young)

-Getting my head stuck under a bed (maybe between 3rd and 6th grade)

-Taking a small chunk from my finger by grabbing the sharp part of the razor (sometime before I started shaving, so probably between 5 and 9)

-Getting rope burn on both of my hands playing tug of war (2nd or 3rd grade)

-Hit in the crotch with a soccer ball (really little)

-Getting scratched on the arm by my sister's friend who has the same name as me (8th grade)

-Getting hit with keys at a football game (they were my band director's keys)(a couple of weeks ago)

...and probably many more things that I cannot recall at the moment.

 

I broke an ankle because I forgot to look both ways before crossing the street, and got hit by a pickup truck.

 

I went to this very large christian camp in the mountains (back before I realized my sexuality and started questioning religion) and we had this one mountain there that we had to climb everyday just for recreation. It was raining one day and we got up there very carefully, but on the way down I was talking to this girl in my group and I slipped in the mud and slid down a little little ways getting mud all over my ass and down my leg. I later went to the bathroom to wash it all off, but it didn't all come off. After that I had an activity at a lake on the same frigging mountain but way higher up and I sat in the shallow part of the lake after I was done kayaking.

 

Accident. It was a long time ago as well. I was bored and he was playing video games. He wanted me to fuck off so he tried to scare me away using one of the xbox cords, but it flew out of his grasp, and the metal end sliced my eye open, thus, the bleeding. I'm sure that image of my bloody eye scarred his then-sixteen-year-old mind forever.

 

We were hiking in the mountains here in Las Vegas and I ended up scratching my lles real bad because of the rocks when I was trying to climb this boulder. The werid thing is that I didn't notice I had my legs all cut until about it was time to leave aand I started to feel the pain. Oh the blood!

 

One time I burned my face with incense because I got too close to it. I had a cold at the time and I had just bought this new incense and I wanted to smell it, but I was congested. I felt like a dummy with a tiny little burn dot on my face for a week.

 

I fell of a trampoline after buddy bouncing and broke my wrist. That's not the funny part though; the funny part is that one of my friends concluded it was just a sprain and during the night I slept on the tiny couch with a pretty blonde and she laid on my wrist and exasperated the injury so that it wasn't just broken, it was out of alignment too. I got a night of cuddles though, soooo... worth.

 

As you can tell by how much I've posted on here I'm very clumsy. What I'm about to tell you is an event that is not exactly an injury but it could have ended much worse.
.....So when I was about 3-5 years old I had been taking a cough syrup called Robitussin. It had a flavor to it that I surprisingly liked. One day I walked up to the counter and because I've always been tall, I grabbed the bottle and opened what people refer to as a "child proof" lid. I drank the rest of the bottle and went about the day. About 3 in the morning the next day I got out of bed went into the TV room got on to the couch and jumped of it trying to fly. My dad finally heard me and came to check on me. He said "what are you doing" and I said "I'm trying to fly but I don't think I have enough pixie dust". So yeah I just thought that would be interesting to share.