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Frustrated

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Purpleredhead78, Jul 5, 2017.

  1. Purpleredhead78

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    I'm kind of frustrated because my mom who means well says I need to date women before labeling myself as gay. She does believe I'm at least bi. I wanted to say to her, do straight people have to date members of the opposite before they realize they're straight? I didn't though. With her saying that to me it makes me confused. I've only dated one guy and I ever was interested in being more than friends. Had no interest in guys growing up. Now that I'm figuring out who I am, it's confusing when someone says something like that. Only I can determine who I like or don't like.
     
  2. Quantumreality

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    Hey emily1978,

    You are absolutely correct! ONLY we (as individuals) can actually KNOW our own attractions and, thus our own sexuality. Asking you mom how she 'knows' that she's straight without dating someone of the same-sex that catches her eye/attention is totally valid.

    But I would also recommend that you download and print some decent literature for her to read such as the Our Children pamphlet from PFLAG. And, perhaps, she might be willing to attend a nearby PFLAG meeting which may help her to realize that, not only are you NOT 'confused', but that there are so many more people out there (and parents of those people) who have come to the same realization about their sexuality as you.

    Just some thoughts...
     
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  3. silverhalo

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    Aww Emily I'm sorry your mum is saying that, even though as you say I'm sure she means well. Sometimes when you are going through something like that you just want her to be there, support you and give you a hug.
    I'm sure she will come round and don't let her comments make you doubt yourself. You know what you feel, just go find your girl :slight_smile:
     
  4. Creativemind

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    This logic never made much sense to me. What if a gay person dated/slept with someone of the same-sex but hated the experience? Not everyone is attractive or the right person to even gay people, so obviously we are going to have experiences that also turn off us just like straight women lack enjoyment to dating some kind of men. It's never proven anything.
     
  5. Purpleredhead78

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    Things are better today. Just going to let thing progress and go from there. I don't want to talk to her too much about it. So, I'll just keep coming here where people are going through the same thing. She's supportive but probably worried as all moms usually are. She's really the best mom.
     
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