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Frustrated

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by bi2me, May 14, 2016.

  1. kypso

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    bi2me, I could have written you OP!
     
  2. bi2me

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    My biggest problem is that I feel for a while like I'm doing ok, but then I realize that I've actually just buried all of it again, because as soon as I'm in a place where I can be more open about it (like last Thursday to Saturday with friends who know and don't judge) it all comes back. I'm thinking about starting a meet up for midlife bisexual women with another friend, but I'm also afraid of blowing the doors so wide open they fall off the hinges. On the other hand, I'm sassier and more fun when I'm totally being myself (and enjoying looking at cute women).
     
  3. caliwoman

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    Just out of curiosity, what "type" of women are you attracted to? I always find that interesting.


     
  4. CapColors

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    Yeah, I hear this, too. I'm a bit afraid of engaging my gay side again after being constantly agitated around my trigger crush.

    Although I did meet up with a woman who is bi just as friends the other night, and it was great to talk to someone who GETS IT but who is just a friend. So maybe a meetup would be a positive for you?
     
  5. bi2me

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    I usually like alpha women. Usually long brunette hair, but not exclusively. I've been attracted to women of all/most racial groups. Usually someone a bit thinner than I am, but not super skinny. Somewhat artsy/alternative looking. Not usually heavily tattooed, but a couple don't bother me. Idk... When I see her, I know!

    I had a super crush on Liv Tyler in Stealing Beauty in high school
    Kate Mara (when she was in House of Cards) is hot too (although thinner than I sometimes go for)
    I get crushes on book characters too... I kind of have problems getting super involved in books...
     
  6. CapColors

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    I'm pretty much your type haha :grin: (Although I'm no Liv Tyler or Kate Mara!)
     
  7. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Bi2me,

    How are you doing now?
     
  8. bi2me

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    IDK - Somedays better than others. I had a rough day Friday. I was on a trip with my parents and my kids, and I was supposed to meet up with my bff for the day (my parents were going to watch the kids), and I was going to sneak out a couple of hours early to meet up an EC friend.

    But then my bff got sick and didn't come at all, so I couldn't sneak out at all, and my mom and dad were sick, so I couldn't leave the kids with them, and we ended up not having a great day all around. Kind of spent the day trying to be chipper for the kids but feeling sorry for myself.

    I guess that's why I never tried to sneak out in HS?!?!

    On the sexuality front, I have not made any real progress recently, although my husband did say he thought it might be hot to watch me and another girl but he might want to join in. I have super conflicted thoughts about the whole thing. On the one hand, I don't want to seem like even more of a stereotype, and I'm not sure if I did want to be with a woman I'd want him involved, but on the other hand, maybe it would be better for me/him/us if we were both involved with the same person.

    Minor GoT Spoiler below:


    In the mean time, I have fantasies and dreams and I share them. Sunday night, my dream was that I was Yara Greyjoy's play thing... yeah, I've got some problems!
     
  9. caliwoman

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    Lmao! Yara? Really?! Lol. I saw that scene but was much more attracted to the woman she was with. Actually, I rewound that scene. Lmao. Ssshhhhhh. My husband doesn't know.

    I feel you! My husband has said what if he wanted to be involved with the woman of my choosing (he says this not realistically, but rather, to test me) and that's a no-go for me. I'd want her all to myself

    Sometimes I'll ask him if he's down for watching, but just so I can get permission to be with a woman.

    This desire for a woman feels much more than being horny. It's like an ache inside of me. Is it similar for you? Then again, I've never been with a woman, so maybe why the desire is so strong.
     
  10. bi2me

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    It wasn't really about Yara... It was the power structure of the scene. :icon_redf

    I can understand the ache feeling. Sometimes it is like that for me too.

    Got to hang out last night with my bff. Such a bittersweet time. It was good though. I needed to see her and hang out with her.
     
  11. baristajedi

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    Bi2me, I didn't get a chance to read the whole thread and I'd like to respond more later, but i just wanted to send hugs of support.(&&&)