Frustrated with dating

Does it have to deal with your looks or something?

 

I've tried dating sites a couple of times and managed to get a date once that way. It quickly fizzled out because we found that we weren't as compatible as the site's mechanics claimed. After that I quickly lost interest with them because, honestly, it felt like I was on an online shopping site shopping for guys. It just felt artificial to me. Since then I've realized that I'd much rather find a partner the old fashioned way, through meeting people in everyday life and getting to know them face to face.

I know other people have had more success with dating sites, but I feel they're just not for me.

 

Well yeah I met some really crappy people on dating sites but eventually I met a great guy on a site I didn't even expect. If you are socially isolated then dating sites are one of your sources sadly... other social network sites today suck so much to meet new people.

 

Hey why wont you open a thread here that youre looking for someone?

 

Oh damn then. Have you thought of trying to go for a very feminine guy?

 

Had to chuckle a bit at the last suggestion you received @Creativemind, but sorry to hear that you are finding yourself a bit depressed by the reality of the online dating world. Have you looked at Facebook groups or at joining some kind of feminist groups/meet up (lots of queer women in their 20's usually)? or a more radical thing such as moving to the city? It sucks but realistically there are very few lesbians around and moving to a bigger city would increase your chances of meeting someone, possibly even without the need of an app so I would give it some thought if your situation allows. Good luck!

 

I’d honestly say to not give up. I too was on and off dating sites for 3 years and either the convo fizzled, or they weren’t who I thought they were when I met them in person, or it was just a one and done.

I would get extremely discouraged about my lack of success in finding someone, but somehow I got pulled back in, and eventually started to meet people worth my time. It’s just a process of sorting through those who are worthy of your time and dropping those who aren’t. Don’t take anything personally and if you have the patience, you’ll find someone eventually.

 

I’ve only just started with dating sites etc and I thought I lived in a big ish city but there aren’t many women near me that are on these sites and who wants to be travelling for hours to meet someone. Anyway I will put some effort in but am not very hopefull. I’m not a clubbing person but will probably have to try this. Our town is very student focused so any groups etc are for students which eventhough I don’t look my age I would feel like the odd one out. How about trying some new hobbies or finding day or weekend classes for things that you are interested in? Part Time or weekend job whilst you are studying?

 

I kinda feel like I'm in the same boat as you because I've exhausted all the options in my immediate vicinity for dating, and I still haven't gotten more than a first date. 90% of my friends are guys, and I'm not romantically attracted to them, and the few girls who are my friends are either straight, lesbian, incompatible etc. I don't even know who I'm supposed to date because I'm nonbinary, but that's not really your issue.
What I'd suggest is, if you have friends who are more socially connected or connected to other groups, then maybe ask them for set-ups because there are a lot of people looking to be in relationships, and if your friends can connect you to one, then that might go somewhere.

 

I feel the struggle. I'm an ace so I'm not looking for the sexual component, so not only is it a struggle to find someone who won't demand a physical relationship, but is willing to date a gullible queer enby such as myself. I'm also quoiromantic so i can't tell if something is romantic or platonic and it's so annoying as heck. I've also got anxiety with makes talking to people harder. It's just great.

 

What sort of jobs have you applied for? I worked on a checkout at a supermarket for 18mths and surprising enjoyed it and you meet lots of people. Also coffee shops, cafes etc. Retail type shops etc. Yeah I would try that club again as you never know and it would be good to meet other college people nearer your age.

 

Are these dating sites people or people off the forum? I think I would be the same but would maybe chat a bit longer than a few days as people are nervous etc but then you don’t want to tell them your life story either and you want to see if you have a connection in real life so want to meet up early on. I think some of the bios I read said they want to actually meet which I thought was a given but maybe some just want to chat?