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Friend's wife got pregnant unexpectedly

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Vega222, Feb 8, 2020.

  1. Vega222

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    Hi,

    My friend who married a few months ago, Says his wife got pregnant since about 2 weeks ago.

    Actually, He says the doctors had said she has a problem and she will never get pregnant. So, He didn't do any contraception. But, They realised she is pregnant a few days ago.

    Now, The problem is, He says, That I don't wanna a child. Especially, With the current situation of this country ruling by Islamists. But she insists that she want a child. And she thinks if they have an abortion, She fears she will never get pregnant again.
    He says his wife is not well and she may lose the child.

    What is the right thing to do for him?
    Also, He says I feel bad about myself Because I hope something happens to the embryo.

    Sorry, I was in a hurry, And didn't write some details.
     
    #1 Vega222, Feb 8, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2020
  2. Lin1

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    The best thing he can do is support his wife.

    I can understand that if she has been told she could never have a child that she would want to keep this child at all cost.
    Ultimately he has no say as to whether or not she keeps this pregnancy. He knew that despite what doctors were saying, science is fallible and that therefore the only way to prevent pregnancy (and even then!) is to use condoms and other protective/preventive outlets, by not doing so he forfeited his right to complain about pregnancy.

    Obviously the fact that he isn't happy about it isn't ideal, but he needs to do the right thing by supporting his wife with whatever decision she takes and do everything he can to provide as best as he can for this future baby, he knew the risks and now he needs to own up to the consequences by standing by his wife and taking his responsibilities the best he can.
     
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  3. CharacterStudy

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    There is only one right thing to do here and that is for you to help him support his wife. A few points to consider:
    - It's surprisingly common for someone to be told they can't have children, or it will be difficult, and for them to become pregnant. It happened to me too!
    - Given the above, if someone really doesn't want to get pregnant, then he should have been using at least one type of contraception, possibly two. It takes two to make a baby and he needs to take responsibility.
    - This could well be his wife's only opportunity to have a baby. If he persuades her to have an abortion she doesn't want, she will never, ever forgive him and their marriage will be destroyed. If my husband had turned round and wanted an abortion, when I thought it might be my only chance, I would have divorced him. Our relationship could never have recovered, and I've heard similar stories from other women.
    - Her body, her choice.
     
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