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Former lurker wants to say his piece

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by razorsharp, May 10, 2014.

  1. aboutface

    Full Member

    Oct 14, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Mississippi (US)
    It is confusing to me how someone could not think this forum was 'openly gay.'

    Do you understand that the name of the site, empty closets, is in reference to the common "coming out of the closet" thing, thus leaving the closet empty? Do you understand that coming out of the closet quite literally means becoming more open, with both yourself and others, about being gay (or bi, trans, etc)?

    It is a very difficult process for many to become more open about being gay, both to themselves and to everyone else, and this forum is here to support people who are at various stages of that process. You will not, however, find support for your attempts at further self-denail or for your position that being gay is not ok, no matter how sound you think your reasoning is.
  2. Benway

    Benway Guest

    OP's just egging us on at this point. I think I see what's really going on here. Let's just stop replying to this thread.
  3. Aldrick

    Full Member

    Apr 23, 2012
    Likes Received:
    Yes, I understand where you are coming from because I have walked many miles in your shoes. That is what puts me in the best position to help you, because I understand where you are coming from right now.

    You are right, though, that if your goal is to try and find a way to cover up, hide, or never confront the fact that you are gay that this site is not going to help you continue to hurt yourself. That is not what a support community does. It is like showing up at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, admitting that you have a drinking problem, and then asking for support on how to just stick to one bottle of wine a day instead of two or three. The goal of AA is to help you stop drinking, and help you fight your addiction. The goal and purpose of EC is to help you to become comfortable with your sexuality, and eventually come out so that you can actually live your life.

    That does not mean that everyone here expects you to lead the Pride Parade. What people want is for you to get to a place where you can love yourself, and be comfortable in your own skin. What people want is for you to live an authentic life. Each and every day that you wake up and face the world pretending to be straight, you are living a lie. You are looking everyone in the face, lying to them, and pretending to be something that you are not. As a Christian, you know that lying is a sin. And if you were to rank lies from little white lies to really harmful ones--this would be one of the more harmful ones--it would be one of the worst.

    Just stop and think about it for a moment. You are willing to lie to such an extent that you are willing to involve another person, potentially ruining her life, and then causing harm to any potential children you might have with her. This is what living a lie is causing you to do--it is causing you to not only hurt yourself, but contemplating hurting others. And all of it is in an attempt to maintain that lie.

    If you want to believe in sinfulness, then you cannot deny that lies like this easily fall into one of the worst things you can do category.