My Mom basically said she doesn't want me to bring up the issue of my sexuality again. She says that she wants to just "forget about it", and she has said that it makes her "uncomfortable". She says that two men being together in that way makes her "uncomfortable". On the other hand, she says she has had gay friends. She has also told me that she finds it "disturbing" and "unsettling" that I am this way. When I asked her if she was morally against it, she basically just told me she wasn't sure. On the other hand, she basically says that she doesn't "want to pass judgment", and she wants to look at me as a whole person and not focus on this. She says that she doesn't want me making this the "main part of who I am". She says that despite this, she loves and accepts me as a person. She also says that no matter what "choices" I make regarding this, she isn't going to turn cold or avoid me. She has said in the past that she wants to be close with me whatever I do or whoever I am with. She says that she will love and support me regardless. She doesn't really act any different with me after I told her. We still go out and do things together for fun just like before. We still spend plenty of time together and have plenty of normal conversations. She basically acts the same around me. You know, since she says she loves and supports me as a person and would regardless, I want to forgive her for this.......... but saying she is "uncomfortable" with it is basically a form of homophobia. She's not shunning me or threatening to shun me. The opposite is true actually that she says she always wants to have a good relationship with me. On the other hand, it's going to be a challenge for me to really forgive her homophobia, even though it's relatively minor. I want to, I really do though. If anyone's been in the same situation with a mildly homophobic yet fully loving and supportive family member, how were you able to really forgive them? Could you still be around them without being angry and upset with them for their feelings about it? I really want to still continue with things as normal though, but fully forgiving her of her feelings is just as challenging as her hearing this from me.
Um, I never been through this. Is it important that you care about what your mom thinks? Maybe she's still dealing with this. Maybe this is her way of grieving?
