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Forgive me, I have a silly question..

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Gray9, Apr 1, 2017.

  1. Gray9

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    Okay, so lately I've been fooling around with a dido I picked up - but it's just been oral stuff. I've now been interested in anal stuff, and I've just started practising in the shower as a consequence of my curious and wondering fingers. I'm pretty confident and happy with my body! Anyway, my question is.. well, it feels pretty good and it excites me. I'm liking how it feels. I consider myself straight, but at the same time, I've been having a few fantasies about men. Would a straight guy not enjoy how it feels? Or am I just a sexually deranged guy that's straight?
     
  2. Creativemind

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    Straight guys can enjoy having things up their rear, but they still usually only want to be with women. You might be a bit bicurious if you're fantasizing about men too.
     
  3. Gray9

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    Thanks for the reply!

    I guess that's the thing. So far when I've been playing with myself, I've been fantasizing about men. It all happened out of the blue! But I still like women..

    Just trying to figure it all out.
     
  4. AlexJames

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    I considered myself straight until around age 22. So you're sure you like women, sexually? You mention fantasizing about guys - is this just in the context of masturbating? Have you ever compared the two - getting off about a girl versus a guy? You could easily be bisexual if you find both equally pleasing. Have you ever checked guys out?

    I mean...i didn't check out girls until i started questioning it, and pretty much gave myself permission to consider the fact i might like girls. Then all at once i was checking out girls and i swear i felt like some stupid hormonal thirteen year old lol.

    You don't have to have crushed on a guy or dated one to figure it out either. The brain is a powerful thing, I've discovered. I spent my entire teenage life convinced i liked guys - but i was just being a good conservative modest girl and being the dutiful daughter prioritizing school over boys.
     
    #4 AlexJames, Apr 1, 2017
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  5. Gray9

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    When I had my fingers in myself I was getting off on the fantasy that I had a man inside me. Or I'll just be driving my car and I'll start fantasizing about one dominating me in bed. I find this strange considering when I'm having sex with women, I'm sexually attracted to being the one dominating. But my fantasies with men have been quite the opposite. I'm not fantasizing about effeminate men, but masculine ones. Of course, I don't want to believe EVERYTHING my brain tells me. It's probably a phase? Is that even a thing?
     
  6. AlexJames

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    Huh okay. Well, you're here to figure that out - if you genuinely do like guys or not. Me personally, i don't believe in phases in relation to sexuality. I think its just a process of figuring it out and yeah maybe you're wrong a time or two before you find a label or idea your comfortable with that suits you. I know at least with me, finally figuring it out meant a lot of questions and a lot of looking back. Now this branches into unfamiliar territory for me, so i'll just go out on a limb and say the first thing that came to my mind. Imagining a girl doing the same sort of thing to you - does that do anything for you? Cause apparently that is a thing, a kink if you will. Someone else mentioned it too, i thought.

    Have you ever checked a guy out in public, or is this limited to just the bedroom? I know with me, it just feels natural, instinctual, that's how I describe it. Its automatic. Its not just about getting off to girl porn or fantasies even if that is a good place to start. Your body tends to know this sort of thing before you yourself do, i think. Even during my 'asexual' highschool years i would have random, very confusing, somewhat disturbing thoughts of wanting to see some random friend or acquaintance without a shirt on or wondering what it would feel like to touch them.
     
  7. Gray9

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    In terms of a girl playing with my ass? The answer is no. I've just been lately fantasizing about a man. I couldn't get off to women putting things in me. If she was blowing me, then yeah, I can get off to that! But I don't think I'd get off to a guy preforming oral sex on me. For the last few weeks, I've been practising oral on a dildo that I've mounted to my bedroom wall. I wasn't doing any butt stuff with it; just oral stuff. I was getting off to myself giving the the dildo oral sex while on my knees. So I'm getting off to the fantasy of giving a man oral sex. As for checking guys out on the street, there was one guy that caught my eye when I attended my friend's birthday. I thought it would be hot to sit on his lap. He was pretty built with an athletic body being maybe a few years older than me. I've buried that thought, because the party was filled with more girls, a few of them that I was also attracted to.
     
  8. AlexJames

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    *headdesk* God i need to go to bed lol. Or not read multiple posts on here at the same time. Haha damn i'm sorry i messed that up i clearly remember reading it too. This is embarrassing not gonna lie. But moving on, hey you might be bi. There are other bi people on here though, maybe one of them could message you back and forth about it.
     
  9. Georgia111

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    Hello :slight_smile:
    I know I'm bi because I too fantisize about females and also had major crushes on them. My advice is to just give it some time. Sexuality can be a very confusing thing but don't let it get to you! In time you will figure out whether you are bi curiuos or indeed bisexual. I realized I liked females when I was about twelve, however it could Be that you have just realized your desires for men? A lot of people realize they are bi/ gay later on in life. So as I said before , try not to worry about it too much, you'll figure it out eventually :slight_smile:
     
  10. Lexa

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    I don't find this strange. I recognize the changing of roles.

    I think eventually you will know if it is a phase or not. These things often take time.
     
  11. Creativemind

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    You're definitely not straight. Bisexual at most. A straight guy who likes penetration would never let a guy do it, unless he's bicurious in some way.

    I've heard It's not uncommon for bisexuals to prefer being submissive with one gender and dominant with the other; but in my opinion, that preference is caused by heteronormative brainwashing. It's for the same reason some bisexuals can't imagine themselves dating the same sex because heteronormative brainwashing dictates that's too taboo/not how it works. Not that these preferences aren't valid or anything, they're fine. If anything, I feel sorry for heterosexuals who don't like their gender role in sex (dominant straight women/submissive straight men) since they end up feeling confined and unsatisfied within their own orientation. Gay/bi people have more freedom to explore and end up with happier sex lives. I'm glad I'm gay for this reason.
     
  12. Twisted777

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    Creativemimd took the words right out of my...fingers, I guess.

    I agree that a straight guy would probably never imagine giving oral or receiving anything else from another guy - you sound at least Kinsey 1 to me.

    Per the whole dildo fantasy thing, straight guys do do that - but they're not usually on their knees sucking them, and as above, nor are they imagining that's it's attached to another man. The prostate is very sensitive and lots of people experiment with fingers etc, but it's what's going on in your head that's important - you may not be imagining anything, and just enjoying the sensation, or you could be imagining a woman is doing that to you. Both of these would be typical heterosexual behaviour, imagining that your fingers are anther man's penis is not.

    It was also mentioned that lots of bi people tend to switch from dominant to submissive when with one gender vs another, I've heard this a few times - while it's not true for me, I'm sure it does happen and is in fact commonplace. Therefore it seems perfectly reasonable that you are a bisexual guy who likes to be 'the man' when you're with a woman but wants to be the 'bottom' with another guy.

    I'd suggest you just carry on experimenting, be careful (use lube), and maybe try flirting with a guy (maybe more, whatever you're comfortable with), or start watching (or continue to watch) some gay/bi porn - although porn isn't a great indicator of sexuality, it has one (quite easy) job, and it does it rather well.
     
    #12 Twisted777, Apr 2, 2017
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  13. Gray9

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    Hey ya, thanks for the replies! Like some of you are saying, I think I'll just take it slow and I won't try to over think it. I also don't want to believe everything my mind tells me, but when I'm playing with myself or practising oral on a dildo, I'm thinking also to myself "what the heck are you doing?!" It feels like I'm hypnotized. I just persisted and it's really strange, but exciting at the same time! I would probably be nervous as hell to approach another guy. But maybe if he approached me? I dunno how I'd react! Lol. I probably would just casually go with it. I should take it slow.

    But we'll see what happens. I think I just need to chill the heck out!