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Forever closeted

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AndyTheKoala, Oct 13, 2016.

  1. AndyTheKoala

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Some people
    It's so frustrating to sit and listen to my parents talk about gender.
    They always say such terrible and mean things about people who aren't like them.
    It makes me sick to my stomach because I know that no matter what I make of my identity that they'll just disown me anyway. Every time they start on the topic they always say things like that they'll never listen to anyone corrects them about pronouns and that if I ever started with what they call "Trans or non binary junk" they'd send me to a mental hospital because I was insane. It just hurts so much to think that regardless of what I do or who I really am that if I ever tell them that they'll just turn their backs on me.
    It doesn't matter if it is my sexuality or my gender identity, to them I am forever closeted.
     
    #1 AndyTheKoala, Oct 13, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2016
  2. CJliving

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    Parents are parents. You could walk away from them, but (I don't know your situation) maybe you can't or don't want to or you love them too much. Maybe you can never come out to them, maybe they'll never use the right pronouns, but you can have a much bigger support system of friends and loved ones that do.

    I can also never come out to my dad. His wife says stuff like "people that think they're transgender are crazy", he's much 'nicer' but essentially believes the same thing. I already lost my mom, and to lose my dad would be just too much. But I have other family members who I'm out to that support me. I have friends and co-workers. And I don't change who I am for my dad. I still dress the same (sans binder), and talk about the same things.

    I know it sucks and you're totally allowed to be upset about it. But it doesn't have to be finite. Just because you can't come out to them doesn't mean you can't come out period. It doesn't mean you can't be you or that you have to act as the gender you were given. If they question it, just say 'this is how I am', you don't have to label it.

    Good vibes and (*hug*)!
     
  3. AndyTheKoala

    Regular Member

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    Some people
    At times I wish I could walk away, but they are my family and I love them.
    I've tried running the idea past a few people and so far it's been a unanimous "As long as you're happy" from my friends.

    As much as I would love to dres like the gender I feel I am I can't. I'm at home still and don't have an income. I'll get there some day though, once I am able to move out and get a job that is. It'll be scary to approach them for the first time as who I really am but maybe I'll take one of my friends who support me with me to do it.

    Thank you
     
  4. Dingdang

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    Then tell them to send you to a "mental hospital". The people there will treat you way better than your parents do, and you're likely to get more support anyway.

    I'm not even kidding.
     
  5. Delta

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    I have been in 2 different mental hospitals, and only 50% of my experiences agree with that.