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For those that came out when they were young, how did you know you were LGBT?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by HerRainbow, May 22, 2017.

  1. HerRainbow

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    I sometimes wonder how life would have turned out if I came out when I was younger. So for those people that came out when they were in their early teens, how did you know you were LGBT? And what was your experience of coming out at that time?
     
    #1 HerRainbow, May 22, 2017
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  2. Creativemind

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    I'm the same age as you (26, almost 27), but I first came out when I was 14.

    I just knew I always liked girls. There was never any questioning or doubt, it was always there. Knowing I didn't like guys was a bit harder to figure out, but I determined it was just heteronormative brainwashing.

    I guess a little bit of experience helped me too. I never had sex with -anyone-, but I had non-sexual romantic relationships with both genders. I was unhappy with guys and creeped out when they talked about sex. Didn't feel the same with girls at all, we just didn't do anything since I wasn't ready.

    It's probably better to come out young if you happen to know it early. I got to deal with the obsession of being LGBT early and got to deal with all the bullshit and ignorance early. Because of that, I feel like I get to experience adulthood properly and not have to care or worry about anything anymore. I don't relate to most people's stories on this site at all, and I feel sorry for them- another reason why I'm glad I didn't wait.
     
  3. Hunter8

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    I kind of trace the realization of my same-sex attraction through different eras of my life. Here's a basic breakdown of each of those eras.

    Elementary school years: I was not overly interested in feelings of attraction during this time. I had a few decent friends, but our friendship was a tenuous one. It was built around common interests that we all enjoyed (Pokemon, Mortal Kombat, etc.), but there was little else holding our friendship together. I was never interested in sports, which seemed so boring and unimaginative to me. I also recall being at times uncomfortable around guys who looking back now I probably considered to be attractive.

    Middle school years: junior high was when things really started to change. All of my friends became less interested in catching Pokemon and more interested in chasing girls. I didn't get what the big deal was with girls though. This increasingly apparent difference between me and my friends resulted in those friendships weakening greatly over the next few years. And then there was P.E. class. For the first time, I had to take my clothes off in front of my male peers, and I noticed that they did too. I realized I was very self-conscious, but I also caught myself staring a few times at . . . well, you can imagine. :wink:

    High school years: Even though I had these feelings towards males, I never really allowed myself to think I was gay. I just told myself it was a phase and that someday soon I would start noticing girls. The word denial does come to mind, I'll admit. I protected myself from these feelings by lone wolfing it through high school. I was a generally pleasant, amiable person to my peers, but I learned how to keep others from getting too close. I focused on school and found companionship in my family. I told myself I didn't need a peer-oriented social life. I actually had a girlfriend for a few months (she was younger and I think was enamored with the idea of dating a senior), but that fizzled out almost as soon as it began. I also had a terrible experience at prom that made me wish I had never went in the first place.

    College years: I decided that I was not going to date any college girl unless I was genuinely attracted to her. Since that didn't happen, I never dated in college. But I noticed that hot guys were all around me. Like EVERYWHERE! Walk down the hall? HOT GUY ALERT! Use the restroom? HOT GUY ALERT! Go to class? HOT GUY! Campus food court? HOT GUY! I remember one particular time in chemistry class when a lab partner was assigned to me who was quite possibly the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. He had tanned skin, blonde hair, and arms that just didn't stop. I was tongue-tied and pretty much stared at him the whole time. He made some offhand remark at some point about being into girls, and I realized that I had made things really uncomfortable. So I pulled it together and doubled down from that point on when it came to affecting a straight demeanor.

    Since then: I've accepted that I'm gay. I like guys. A lot. I'm okay with the logic of that even if it does cause quite a few headaches in my life. It's definitely been quite the journey along the way though.
     
    #3 Hunter8, May 22, 2017
    Last edited: May 22, 2017
  4. faultyink

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    I came out when I basically just turned 16. I've known my entire life that I'm into girls cause I've had a lotttt of crushes. And they feel very different from my "crushes" on guys. I used to think I was bi, though, so I came ot as bi first. My parents were fine, but they kept thinking at first that I only thought I was gay become my twin sister is also into girls, and she kind of talks about it a lot and is really confident about it. But she's great and my parents ended up being fine!!
     
  5. Sienrar

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    I have come out over the past year to everyone in my life. I knew that I would be safe because I got the best freakin' parents that exist.

    I knew just because when I first started having feelings of any sort, they were towards boys. It did come as a bit of surprise since you never really just assume that you're one of the few that is gay. But as with the aforementioned good parents, it wasn't hard for me to accept.
     
  6. HerRainbow

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    I would say I went through stages. Looking back on it, I was questioning at 16. Then when I was 17 or 18, I had crushes on girls that were just different. They seemed a lot more noticeable and meaningful than with guys. So I knew I was bi at that point but telling people was another story. I basically just left it until I couldn't hold it in anymore and the rest was history.

    Coming out at any age is really courageous but in your teens it's even more awesome! Realistically I should have come out at 21 and there's no doubt that I would have felt so much better.

    ---------- Post added 22nd May 2017 at 07:12 PM ----------

    It's definitely a good thing that you knew early on. I'm having to wade through all the ignorance as well as getting on with life in general. But the nice thing is I can educate people along the way whereas I don't think I could when I was younger.



    ---------- Post added 22nd May 2017 at 07:21 PM ----------

    Wow that is an amazing journey!!! I would probably say I had a broadly similar experience.

     
  7. HerRainbow

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    It's great that you have parents that are supportive. That makes the process a lot less stressful.

     
  8. Kronux

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    I'm nearly 19 right now and I first came out when I was 15. I didn't knew for my whole life, it just hit me when I had a crush first on my female teacher and then a big crush on a very good friend. She was openly identifying as bisexual, so that made me question my sexuality too, because being gay/queer was never something that was close to my reality, more like something that I heared of in the media. The year questioning myself and coming to the realisation was quite hard but it was good that it was in the same time I was going through puberty, because I genereally questioned a lot of things about myself.
    It feels like it was a good age to come out, because now that I'm 19 and starting universoty soon I feel like I know who I am and I can be open about it without having to question me at the same time, which is a huge relief, because outing myself without being sure who I am was pretty hard, because every side-remark was making me feeling very anxious.
     
  9. Spot

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    I first came out at 14 although I don't know if that counts as "coming out young" or not and I came out to 4 people, none of those were particularly good experiences. I knew I was transgender because I'd always experienced gender dysphoria, I just didn't know what it was until maybe 13? And it was such a relief to finally put a word to how I felt...
     
  10. music to ears

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    I'm 13 and only came out really recently, but I've been questioning for 3 years. It all got so complicated so I asked myself a simple question. Do I have feelings for girls? Yes. Can I only imagine my future with a girl? Yes. People have said I'm too young to know but all of this is fluid. Right now this is what I identify as and in the future it could be different (probably not though). But you kind of just know.
     
  11. Raziel00

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    I didn't accept myself as gay until I was 17 and didn't come out to anyone until I was 24. I just kept waiting for that moment when I would start liking girls but it never came. Looking back I had a lot of crushes on guys throughout my years so I don't really know why it took me so long to admit to myself. I even had a "boyfriend" when I was about 12 but didn't realize at the time what that meant.
     
  12. Casey221B

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    I started coming out when I was twelve. I knew I wasn't straight because I came back from winter break in seventh grade and I got a crush on my female friend.
     
  13. Robin x

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    I first got a crush on a girl at 11ish, but i just brushed it off as hormones at the time. Then at 13-14ish it came back at full force, and I realised it wasn't hormones, but at the time I didn't know much about LGBTQ+ so I did some research, and found out about bisexuality and thought it seemed a pretty accurate description to what I felt. Then, a few months later, I was introduced to the gender spectrum, and realised that gender doesn't really effect who i like. And I also found out about pansexuality. Then boom, now I'm here.
     
  14. blaziken25

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    When I was in primary school I never had any attraction to boys. When I hit high school I began getting crushes and sexual attractions to girls. Coming out was pretty lame because my parents initially thought it was a phase (they are conservative) but things are much better now.
     
  15. MaoKingofcats

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    I knew I wasn't straight when I was romantically attracted a girl in middle school but I didn't want to look deeper into my orientation because of my faith. My faith kinda messed up my thinking like I was scared of falling in love with girls because I was worried about sinning against God and stuff like that. Of course I stopped going to church but I still believe in God. I come out to my parents as bi because it's more well known than pan a couple years ago. My parents were perfectly fine about that and love me for who I am.

    I started questioning my gender identity when I had a weird feeling I wasn't cis. I don't know how to explain it's like I don't feel like a guy or a girl. I don't know my body doesn't feel right with me and I always see myself as an androgynous person someone not female or male. I decided I'm going with the term agender as it sounds like me and I couldn't be more happier than ever. I feel free and not confined to have to identify as either male or female. I'm just me and that's what matters :3
     
  16. justlooking

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    Well I knew when I was in the 6th grade. I just came across gay porn and I liked it way more than regular porn, but I denied that I was gay till the 7th Grade. I still haven't come out even though I am a Junior in High School now.