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Fitting In

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TinyWerewolf, Nov 19, 2021.

  1. TinyWerewolf

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    *-Possible triggers below-*

    Does anyone else feel like they don't fit in within the LGBTQIA+ community? Forums like EC are the closest I get to that. I think it's because I'm still a Christian despite my parents using religion as justification for their unaccepting behavior. I know a lot of the community turns from religion because of a similar experience- but if you asked me it's the people causing wounds not the actual religion. The only person I've been able to tell about this is my girlfriend (it was put vaguely though), and she seems to understand. She's said herself that she's in a weird place with God for that same reason (the trauma). Is this normal, or is this just another reason I'm an oddball?
     
  2. Rayland

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    EC is the only forum where I feel comfortable posting on. It's also quite easy to navigate, what I like. I believe in God, but yeah it's the people who cause all the hate. You are not odd. Don't worry. People can be so cruel.
     
  3. TinyWerewolf

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    I still go to church, pray sometimes, and I'm thinking about going back to my church's choir (if my own voice doesn't make me too dysphoric). I went through one of those stints where I was pissed at God and didn't go to church or any of that until I realized it was the people and not God. I still deal with anger over it sometimes, but it's a lot easier now. Thanks Rayland. :slight_smile:
     
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  4. caden0803

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    I wouldn’t call myself a religious person, but I also agree that you should never use it to hurt someone or force a belief onto them they will be uncomfortable with.
     
    #4 caden0803, Nov 20, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2021
  5. Unsure77

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    It might also be worth looking into things like the Reformation Project or the Queer Christian Network (at least their resources). There's also a Queer Theology podcast and channel on youtube. There are queer Christian groups and resources out there because, to your point, lgbt Christians are a minority within a minority. But they are out there.
     
  6. TinyWerewolf

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    Absolutely Caden, that's never going to truly work anyway.

    I didn't know those existed. I will check those out, thank you.

    I figure that some people who are nonreligious now when they didn't used to be, it's because of the trauma the religion caused- and I don't blame them one bit. That's just my theory though.
     
  7. BiGemini87

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    I can't speak from a religious perspective, but I don't think it's odd to feel like you don't quite fit in with the LGBT community at times; after all, the "community", such as it, spans many different cultures, ages groups, and so on. We're all individuals with individual experiences. Sometimes I don't feel like I fit either: because I came out a bit late in life, because it's not the primary, much less sole focus of my life, and because I don't always align with others' views of how I should/shouldn't feel about specific issues.

    It's okay to have a sense of self that isn't tied to others. I'd say it's healthy in fact, to have your own views and feelings regarding any aspect of who you are--because in spite of it being a shared characteristic, it is still first and foremost a solitary one. We all want a sense of community, of course, but we also often experience the most growth in those moments of solitude.
     
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  8. TinyWerewolf

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    I agree about growth in solitude- I still have a lot of that left to do probably in all honesty. Not exactly sure how to go about it but prayer has been part of that journey for me so far. I'm still in my twenties but I've been through some stuff. I'm finally taking the steps toward self acceptance though, and coming here to find that said community has helped.
     
  9. Chip

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    In the past, we've had some militant atheist types who felt it was Their Responsibility to let everyone know that God doesn't exist and so forth and so on. But the truth is, no one can definitively answer that question (and no, I don't want to start a debate on that) and thus, I think it's important to meet people where they are, and support them in the beliefs they hold, so long as those beliefs are not harmful to others.

    There are many, many gay people who draw a great sense of comfort and security by their religious beliefs, and I think that's perfectly fine. And there are some who don't believe in anything, and that's perfectly fine as well.

    It has always shocked me why, in a support community for LGBT people, who have been rejected by many in society, people would seek to judge and devalue others for their beliefs, or to mock those beliefs. I get that organized religion has done a lot to harm a lot of LGBT people, but if we're talking about people in our own community, we owe it to them (at least in my book) to treat them with respect and kindness, even if their beliefs don't match our own.
     
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  10. Jakebusman

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    Thank you so much for a thread like this I to a church that can be homo and transphobic its hard to go back sometimes its hurts and bothers me what is said sometimes but I got to tell myself its the people not god/regelin hating
     
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  11. TinyWerewolf

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    You're welcome River. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Unsure77

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    How determined are you to go to that exact church? There are lgbt affirming denominations out there. I guess is may be easier said than done if you're in a really isolated location with super limited options or if you're stuck because of your family. But, if you have a choice, it might be healthier to look for a more supportive church. There are websites out there that specify the stances of different churches.
     
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  13. Unsure77

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    I'd also point out (as a bonus), if you went to an LGBT affirming church, you might have a better shot at finding other LGBT Christians.
     
    #13 Unsure77, Nov 24, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2021
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