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First time with new pronouns - it feels weird

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by jul1an, Jun 4, 2022.

  1. jul1an

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    I've recently told one of the closest friends I have to start referring to me with "new" pronouns. And they did. I need to clarify I'm still questioning amd not 100 % who I am but, the point is, it was the first time I've ever heard those pronouns for me in real life. And it feels weird. It seems to hurt much more. Is this normal? It's like it worsen the dysphoria.
    Is this just me?

    Eta: I totally present as my biological gender.
     
    #1 jul1an, Jun 4, 2022
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2022
  2. Mihael

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    Why do you feel that dysphoria is worse when you hear diffetent pronouns? I don't mean to come across as not understanding, because it happens for some people. But maybe it would be helpful to take a closer look what's going on.
     
  3. jul1an

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    Well, I'm not 100% sure.
    On one hand, I have the sensation it hurts because it will not be real. I would never think the same about someone else, but about me...
    I don't know, being still questioning sometimes I ask myself if I am exasperating and faking all of this.
    And, well the pronouns, but when I look at myself in the mirror I see something else. It's like, "I will never be that". You can refer to me in that way, but my body is not like that. I don't know, at this point, if it's easier to act like a cis-gender person ...

    I have no troubles with pronouns online, tho.
     
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  4. jul1an

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    Oh, I haven't any problem in using those pronouns for myself when I speak or think.
     
  5. Mihael

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    You're not. You're trying things out and that's okay. You won't know what works for you unless you try.
    There are a lot of men and women who look like the opposite sex. They might not pass well, and get confused for the other gender but it's okay. :slight_smile:
     
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  6. Bobcatlynx

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    Hmmm when i changed my pronouns to they/them it was feeling like home comming, i feeled my self stronger then before and it gived a big bang when i definitive changed my gender marker from F to X it completed my life.
    But may be you ere experimenting and that isn't that wrong to find your self out who you are.
     
  7. staticinmyattic

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    Trust your own process and be patient. Don't look for conclusions in your feelings right away. Just note them, and pay very close attention to them. All feelings, especially unpleasant feelings, can be useful in guiding us. You say that you're questioning, that's good. I'm of the opinion that "questioning" should remain a perpetual state of mind, but I'm a scientist so I'm biased. You want to know what pronouns will make you feel most comfortable. My advice to you is to keep doing what you're doing and be patient. Your process will work.
     
  8. Prisma

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    Even though you've felt different than the labels society placed on you, you've begun living your truth out loud? And it is your truth, up to you, but if it's a difference, it's going to be somewhat of an adjustment I would think. Your new normal? As much as I dislike the word normal...