I went on a date with a guy for the first time ever the other day and we had some drinks and ended up going back to his. At his we had oral sex/kissing. It was a lot for me to go on the date as I’ve recently moved and I’m not out to anyone here and everyone thinks I’m a big ladies man as I can be quite flirty - I also live with people of different backgrounds who may be less welcoming (I don’t exactly care what their opinions are but they are otherwise nice people and it would be a shame to not have good friendships with them whilst I am here). He made the first move to me and I felt like he did most the work during the sex and was quite rough but at the same time it also felt good but was overwhelming at times. I ended up leaving and not staying over as I was tired. I slightly think I only went back to his as I’ve always wanted to experience being with a guy sexually but now think maybe it wasn’t a good idea on the first date. We tried intercourse but it hurt so we stopped. We met on a dating app and I kinda enjoyed it but I’ve not replied to him since. I’ve actually only been with a woman sexually once so maybe slightly doubting if I’m as bisexual/gay as I’ve always thought. I’m also unsure if maybe it’s nervousness as I am not out (I don’t think I mentioned this to him). Ive also recently met a woman I’m very into /into me but know it wouldn’t really be fair to go after both. Any advice?
That’s my point I don’t know, I’ also don’t know if I’m just unsure because it was my first time, if it was because he was kinda rough, or if it’s because I’m pretty much closeted again.
Were you being safe? (using a condom) or was he against that? If he is unwilling to be safe then you should not see him again. Were you ok with that or was he pushing you to do things that you were uncertain about? If he is pressuring you then you should not. If you liked it then go ahead and try again (assuming all the other things are right) Why would that be a problem? You are not in a monogamous relationship with anyone yet. Dating or having sex with multiple people is not a problem so long as you are being safe and honest with all of them.
Think it was abit much for me on my first date with a guy/time with a guy. Gonna take some time to figure out what I want, think online dating maybe isn’t for me.
This sounds like a good idea. You have been on a date with a guy now and done some experimenting, so maybe now is the time to take stock and have a think about where you are and what you really want. If things had moved more slowly and you took time to get to know each other better before making out and having/trying sex, would you have felt differently about it? If he had been more sensitive would it have made a difference? These are just some of the questions to consider, but you may also need to look at how you feel about your sexuality on a deeper level. Is shame playing a part in how you feel? If you need somewhere to think openly about all of these questions, write some more. We'll try to help you out.
