Hey hey everyone. So in the past few weeks I've noticed that I have been looking for ways to tell myself/have people tell me that pansexuality is fake, it's all in my head, I'm mental, it's the same as bi, why do I think I am special etc etc. And I know this is all not true but I can't help myself. For example, I was just poking around EC when I decided to look for peoples' opinions on pansexuality but specifically negatives. Why do I have to be so complicated?? Why can't I just be lesbian or something people understand and don't question as much as pan? It's not that I don't accept myself though. I think I do. I very much acknowledge and embrace my gayness. So, why do this to myself. Anyways, that sort of became a rant, sorryyy. Any advice or input is much appreciated.
I’m sorry for the struggle. All this stuff is so hard. Sexuality is so complicated. I’ve recently come out as bi and I find myself really struggling with the labels as well and second guessing myself. I was just thinking about it, I think as humans were programmed to try to break down and make sense of things you know? Categorizing is a natural way we do that. And in some instances that is great and helpful, but in other instances that can be hurtful and counter productive. Society has given us all these categories that are meant to be helpful in understanding one another, but at the end of the day you and I are much more complicated than a label. You are who you are. There is no one else like you on the face of the earth. And that goes for everyone. There is a concept I’m trying to implement in my interior life right now...the ability to hold uncomfortable or not understood truths about myself without categorizing or judging them. I’ve spent so much of my life putting things in right or wrong, true or false boxes, and it hasn’t done me any favors. In your heart you know who you are and you know your truth. You know who you’re drawn to and who you aren’t. Society’s attempt at understanding you doesn’t matter. I hope you continue to work at it and make peace with yourself. If you are not seeing a therapist I highly recommend.
Ahhh thank you so much for responding. I definitely need to work on accepting and understanding myself.I am seeing a therapist and will try to get myself to talk about this. Thanks again!