Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 6 months now and have been having sex for most of it (5 months 20 days or something like that, we started quick) He is my first ever relationship and I'm his second. When we have sex, anal or not, I find it hard to orgasm while he is touching me. When I bottom I find it easiest in missionary when I'm the one doing it to myself and he is inside. I don't know why but whenever he starts to give me a hand job or a blowjob I just cant orgasm. he has given me had for a solid 30 min before and I practically felt nothing close to an orgasm. Its not like he is bad or doesn't try but as soon as I take over I can cum within a few minutes. we are both quite kinky and have tied each other up but i still haven't managed to do it unless I'm basically masturbating. I want to be able to easily because I think he is starting to feel bad about it. I do masturbate most nights and have tried to leave it a few days before we see each other but it didn't make much of a difference. has anyone also experienced this and if so do you have any advice?
I don't easily orgasm with oral alone, but when I do, its a nice surprise. I have noticed that if I refrain from masturbating for 2-4 days (And I'm not with my partner) orgasm is easier and more intense. Maybe wait a few more days in between making love? Are you on any medications that can contribute to delayed orgasm? Some antidepressants can do this.
You mention this is your first relationship, so I'm going to assume he's your first sexual partner (or at least that you haven't had sex with many other people that often before.) That being said, you know your body better than he does. You know how you like to be touched. He doesn't know exactly how you feel when he places his hand on you a certain way. So, it's going to take time and experience. What you can do is be very verbal. Tell him what spots you like, what spots you don't like. Tell him to grip harder or back off a bit. Play around in many different ways. Perhaps even take his hand and shape it the way you would yourself. Don't be shy about it! I hope this helps.
