After coming out two years ago, and separating from my husband during the latter half of 2015, I was beginning to despair that I would ever find anyone. After a year of online dating, I had made a good friend (who I seriously fancied, but sadly she didn't have the same feelings for me), but that was it. I belong to a women's walking group, a social group for gay women over 40, and a LGBT meetup group, but never met anyone to date. Then all of a sudden, things changed. I moved into my own house. This sparked an episode of depression, because even though I had been the one to leave the marriage, i was still grieving for the loss of all that we had had together, and the loss of my husband's friendship. My friend told me she had found someone, and her new partner lived some distance away. That meant she was less available to do stuff together. So I turned back to the dating website. And this time I found somebody! We first made contact on 1st February, and since then we have become as inseparable as it is possible to be when you live 90 minutes away from each other and both have jobs. In theory we have nothing in common, very little in the way of shared background or hobbies, yet we just feel so completely at ease in each other's company. She is kind and understanding, and very physically affectionate all the time. We are like two teenagers, walking hand in hand, kissing and cuddling at every opportunity, constantly texting each other, phoning 3 times a day when apart. Our sex life has proved to be a little bit of a hurdle. Knowing I had not been with a woman before, she was too worried to take the lead and move things on in case she did too much too soon and frightened me off (she had been dumped by her previous partner and has lost confidence as a result). I took the lead as far as I was able, but then had to tell her that I needed her to take over and guide me from that point. At that point i was quite scared and didn't know what to do. Luckily we were able to talk about this together, and are moving slowly but steadily forward, making sure we keep talking all the time, letting each other know how we feel at every stage. In just four weeks I have gone from feeling lonely and despairing, to feeling passionate, incredibly lucky, and above all a feeling of deep underlying contentment. Even when we are not together, I feel completely happy and loved and supported. All the physical contact we have had has felt entirely natural, and if I ever had any doubts about whether I was gay, they have completely gone. I am in love, and it feels wonderful!!
Thanks Adray. It was other people's stories which kept me going, when I was feeling upset that nobody seemed to want to get to know a 56 year old with no experience. Hopefully my story will now give that encouragement to others.
