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Finally Did It

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Jakebusman, Jul 11, 2018.

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  1. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    I came out to my wife I said there's something I want to tell you I told her about a crush I had on a guy back in highschool then she said so your gay I said no I like both always felt this way. Then she said as long as you never loose attraction to women them she said I love you gave me a hug.
     
    #1 Jakebusman, Jul 11, 2018
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  2. SevnButton

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    That's so sweet! Congratulations @Jakebusman, and good on you for showing the courage to speak your truth.

    Did the two of you talk about what's next? Any talk about what's OK and what isn't?
     
    #2 SevnButton, Jul 11, 2018
  3. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    No just coming out was a accomplishment
     
    #3 Jakebusman, Jul 11, 2018
  4. BothWaysSecret

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    Congratulations! I'm glad to hear that it went well.
     
    #4 BothWaysSecret, Jul 21, 2018
  5. SevnButton

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    @Jakebusman, it's been 11 days now since you started this thread. How are you and your wife doing?

    This morning is the 2-week anniversary of my big talk with my wife. We seem to be getting back to *really* communicating. It takes some getting used to, not having to be on-guard.
     
    #5 SevnButton, Jul 22, 2018
  6. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Things not going well
     
    #6 Jakebusman, Jul 27, 2018
  7. SevnButton

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    Hey @Jakebusman -
    I wonder if you're on the same roller coaster ride I'm on. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm clear that I want to make my marriage work *and* express my whole self, straight and gay. Last Sunday was spectacular - connected with my wife, feeling good about myself, and life was flowing. Today my wife is angry with me, and it's a struggle. Then my cell phone went dead, and I bought the wrong part at the hardware store. Doesn't feel like life is flowing today.
     
    #7 SevnButton, Jul 28, 2018
  8. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    thats excatally whats going on
     
    #8 Jakebusman, Jul 30, 2018
  9. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Update I tryed talking to her more about it shes confused wondering how I can like both and still be with her she thinks cause I like guys too and automatically thinks I'm gay
     
    #9 Jakebusman, Aug 19, 2018
  10. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    Sigh. I am not sure why so many people, and wives in particular, feel this way. I here this more from women than men for some reason, no idea why. It's pretty simple. You like both. You're bi. Full stop. I'm not sure how someone can honestly think someone is gay automatically because in addition to liking opposite sex partners they also like the same sex.
     
    #10 Love4Ever, Aug 29, 2018
  11. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    I don't get it !
     
    #11 Jakebusman, Aug 30, 2018
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  12. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    It must be really frustrating for you. Have you tried to sit down with her and explain again? Maybe show her some resources and stories of other bi men so she understands that you are not suddenly a different person?
     
    #12 Love4Ever, Aug 30, 2018
  13. Biguy45

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    It’s like the old joke “you suck one Dick and you are branded for life”. I realize that’s a little crude but you get the idea. Some people believe you have to be one or the other
     
    #13 Biguy45, Aug 30, 2018
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  14. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Thought being Bisexual wasn't hard to understand
     
    #14 Jakebusman, Aug 30, 2018
  15. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    It shouldn't be. But people over complicate everything.
     
    #15 Love4Ever, Aug 30, 2018
  16. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    She made it sound like that I can just turn off being bi
     
    #16 Jakebusman, Aug 30, 2018
  17. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    I don't think she really understands then. Being bi is a sexuality. It doesn't have an off switch. I think her fear is more rested on that fact she is afraid she can't provide you something and you will leave her. What I think you should do is sit her down and explain to her that though being bi is not something you can change, you still love her and have no plans of leaving her. Have you ever expressed a desire to be non monogamous? She may not like the idea of this and so she may be reacting to that assuming that you want that. If you don't, reassure her that you don't want anything to change in your relationship, (if that is true), and she may calm down. Some people mistakenly believe that a bi person can't be in a relationship with only one person. This is obviously not true as there are plenty of people who do this quite happily. I think you need to explain this to her so she doesn't think mistakenly that you want a threesome or something.
     
    #17 Love4Ever, Aug 30, 2018
  18. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    #18 Jakebusman, Aug 31, 2018
  19. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Thanks so much for helping me and listening
     
    #19 Jakebusman, Aug 31, 2018
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  20. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    No problem. :slight_smile:
     
    #20 Love4Ever, Aug 31, 2018
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