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Finally accepting myself :)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Tardis221B, Aug 4, 2014.

  1. Tardis221B

    Regular Member

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    I think I've finally accepted internally that I'm gay. I've yet to change my orientation setting just because I want this idea to sit with me for a few more days, then I'll make the change. But deep down I know this is the right label, as it's the only one that makes me feel like I'm being true to myself.

    Anyways this is just a happy rant, I simply wanted to type this out and share it with everyone here as you all have been, and continue to be, such an amazing support system for me. (*hug*)

    I'm finally pretty content with myself, and honestly I feel happier than I've ever felt for a prolonged period of time. This joy has been steadily growing over the summer, and now that the acceptance is slowly starting to fully sink in, I'm feeling much more confident with myself and I no longer feel like I'm living a lie. I was never depressed, but I always sort of shut out others, and I was never open and honest with myself about my true feelings. And now I'm so much happier.

    I now recognize what it means to be ready to come out. The other day when I was hanging out with my best female friend and she showed me a movie trailer. She pointed out the lead male and told me, "isn't he just so attractive". I just didn't see it. Not just because I didn't find him at all attractive, but also because I was too focused on his stunning girlfriend. I've finally stopped forcing myself to try to be attracted to men, and this is big step towards complete acceptance for me.

    At that point I was practically bursting with my secret; I desperately wanted to break out of my cocoon and show off my rainbow wings. I wanted to tell her so badly, but we weren't in private, so I couldn't. And I was genuinely disappointed after leaving that I didn't get to tell her. This is how I know that I'm ready to come out. Not only am accepting of myself, I want to tell her, but also I'm disappointed that she doesn't yet know.

    Of course I'm still a bit nervous about coming out to her and others, but it's a good nervous. I'm excited about this next chapter of my life. No, not a chapter, the next section of my life. The section where I'll finally be living a life true to who I am. Sure it's going to be scary to have to be so open and vulnerable with a lot more people in my life, but vulnerability is a key to happiness.

    It's baby steps on the road of acceptance, but as a wise, blue, Ellen Degeneres, fish once said, "Just keep swimming." :icon_bigg
     
    #1 Tardis221B, Aug 4, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2014
  2. Archie

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'm ever so happy for you! I think it's great that you're finally accepting yourself and are ready to start dealing with your sexuality in a way you feel comfortable about it. I'm not quite there yet but everyone says it gets better, so I hope it keeps working out this well for you! It's really such a wonderful thing to be able to be yourself. There's something so freeing about it, I'm glad you get to enjoy it from now on :slight_smile:

    Also I just absolutely love your username and profile pic :wink:
     
  3. Gallatin

    Full Member

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    Those are more than just baby steps, I'd say. Self-acceptance is huge. I wish you all the best as you continue your journey towards acceptance, openness, and authenticity. :slight_smile: