I'm a 43 year old man and started thinking about my own sexuality a couple of months ago, after realizing that my wife is asexual. I've read a little about transgender and androgynous identities, but there seem to be so many types, so I'm not sure how they apply to me, or what terms I should use to describe my gender. But here are a few things I know about myself: 1. I'm definitely not gay, because I have no desire to be sexual or romantic with another man. I have all the usual heterosexual and heteroromantic attractions, though. 2. If I'm having sex with my wife, I sometimes like imagining that our sex roles are reversed, and that I'm the woman who enjoys giving pleasure to her man. 3. I used to draw and paint a lot, and the human figures usually ended up being either female or gender-neutral in hair, clothing, and facial expression. I enjoyed drawing many such images. I wasn't thinking of my gender at all. The pictures just naturally came out that way. I don't ever remember drawing anything that looked traditionally masculine. 4. When I saw the French movie, My Life in Pink, about the transgender boy, I went back and saw it a couple of more times. It made me uncomfortable and happy at the same time, but there was something about the boy's way of being which felt both natural and attractive in my identification with him. 5. I have no desire to take hormones or get surgery to change my sex or gender. I also think that putting women's clothes on my male body would be in very bad taste. 6. But I do often wish that I were a woman so that I could enjoy pretty clothes and hair and maybe make a nice guy happy. 7. I feel oddly empathic when watching movies or live plays with LGBT characters. I can viscerally feel the sexual and romantic passion when gay or lesbian actors touch or kiss. And I can empathize with either lover in most heterosexual romances. So I guess I'm just trying to figure out what I exactly am, or how I should accurately understand and describe myself. I'm also trying to find "my people" - those who are as mixed as I am in terms of gender.