Female bisexual role models

Just curious. And relax! There is nothing wrong with "questioning", "unsure", or "no labels". You're getting way ahead of yourself, you're not ready to accurately make that decision in a healthy state of mind, but when you're ready you're ready. It could take ten days or it could take ten years. What's important is you're comfortable enough with yourself to make a choice and be comfortable with it. Some people never stop questioning, while others switch multiple times in life. Don't let it stop you from living your life.

I don't know your story, but I'll tell you what others have told me: it's not healthy to focus so much on one thing; it's only one part of you, and not even that important in the greater scheme of things. You're not "closeted" since you're not even sure of what your orientation is... let things naturally fall into place. In your case, EC can end up causing even more harm than not.

Seriously, there are probably bigger problems than one label, one adjective. It's not good to put this much time and effort into classifying yourself, when many people go their entire lives without questioning the grey areas. Don't force it. Go out, socialize, build your confidence, and everything will work out. I'm taking a break from the site, too.

 

Wow. I couldn't have said it better myself! I agree whole-heartedly with Pret Allez. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about regarding being bisexual. We should become the role-models we wish to see in the world, and counteract the negative stereotype that sometimes colors bisexuality. I for one am happy with who I am, and proud to accept love in whatever form. And while I too question the accuracy of the label "bisexual" for me, that doesn't interfere with my acceptance of letting myself feel what I feel.

 

Your profile says you're already out to a few. What did you tell them? Remember, you've asked this question before and tried lesbian and bisexual out several times, with neither label easing your anxiety, confusion, and doubts. Even if you know what you are deep down inside, you're not at a point where you're ready to accept it 100% and come out to everyone comfortably... believe me, even if you come out at this point, you'll still have concerns over the grey areas.. EC can help, but the real work is all up to you.

Call it a hunch well, okay, you mentioned it in another thread. You remind me too much of myself, heh. I also think you might benefit from reading this, if you already haven't: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/f/ShouldIComeOut.htm

 

What about Drew Barrymore?? I love her, I feel like she's so real and down to earth. And so so cute.

 

Krista Allen – actress (out, W)

Susan B. Anthony – activist*

Ann Bannon – iconic author of Odd Girl Out, Beebo Brinker, Women in the Shadows. Was married with 2 kids when she began her writing career. Wrote seminal bi/lesbian pulp novels in the pre-Stonewall 50’s and 60’s.

Drew Barrymoore – actress/producer (out)

Cecil Beaton – photographer/set & costume designer (bio by Hugo Vickers)

Simone de Beauvoir – writer/feminist

Sandra Bernhard - comedian, entertainer (out, “I don’t think there’s any difference between what I find sexy in men or women.” Lesbian News Feb, 1998)
Sarah Bernhardt – stage actress*

Susie Bright – author/sexpert (out)

Louise Brooks – actress (bio by Barry Paris)

Romaine Brooks – painter (W)

Gioia Bruno – singer, formerly of the 80’s pop group Expose (out)

Margaret Cho – comedienne/actress (married and out about having had sex w/women)

Jean Cocteau – french writer & filmmaker: Beauty and the Beast (W)

Claudette Colbert – actress (Wisecracker by William J. Mann)

Wendy Curry – bi activist and president of BiNetUSA

Colette - novelist, actress*

Julie Cypher--music video director, former partner of Mellissa Ethridge for many years with whom she has two children. Was married to actor Lou Diamond Phillips before Ethridge and married a man again in 2004.

Emily Dickinson – poet*

Marlene Dietrich – actress (bio by Donald Spoto, The Girls by McLellan)

Isadora Duncan – dancer (multi bio The Girls by McLellan)

Ani DiFranco – singer/songwriter (out)

Margaret Fuller – early feminist*

Mary Gaitskill – author: Bad Behavior, Because They Wanted To, Secretary

Judy Garland – actress/singer (bio by Clarke)

Greta Garbo - actress (multi-bio The Girls by McLellan, bio by Swenson)

Nan Goldin – photographer (out, wrote the words “I am bisexual” on the wall of the Whitney Museum for her retrospective in 1996)

Emma Goldman – author, feminist, activist (The Girls by Diana McLellan)

Sophie B. Hawkins – singer/songwriter (out)

Anne Heche – actress, Ellen Degeneres' ex-girlfriend now married (out, autobio, Men in Trees)

Patricia Highsmith – writer (The Talented Mr. Ripley, Strangers on a Train, bio Beautiful Shadow by Andrew Wilson )
Elaine Holliman – filmmaker (Oscar-nominated doc Chicks In White Satin, out)

Laurel Holloman – actress (The L Word, The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love, out- -married, discussed bisexuality on L Word special)

Billie Holliday – singer (bio by John Chilton)

Brenda Howard – bi & gay rights activist who co-organized first marches commemorating Stonewall in 1969 & 1970 and countless marches and demonstrations thereafter for LGBT rights as well as other causes, one of the original founders of New York Area Bisexual Network in 1987 she continued to help run NYABN, despite disabilities until her death from cancer June 2005. (out)

Loraine Hutchins – bi activist, author, sexuality educator, recipient of 2005 award from The Task Force

Patricia Ireland – former President of NOW (out)

Angelina Jolie – actress (out)

Janis Joplin – singer (Going Down with Janis by lover Peggy Caserta

Lani Ka’ahumanu – bi activist, author, safer sex program director, Grand Marshall of San Francisco 1994 Pride March, bi speaker at 1993 March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation.

Frida Kahlo – Mexican artist (bio by Hayden Herrera)

Carol Leifer – comedian/actress/writer/producer (out, previously considered straight, Los Angeles Times 7/30/2006 reports she has bought a new house with her partner, Lori Wolf because they are adopting a baby boy.)

Oki, this was about as many as I had time to write down, but few google searches show that there are a lot of bisexual role models out there.

---------- Post added 26th Jun 2013 at 10:36 PM ----------

Dude, why didn`t I just link to the list I found *face-palm*

Bi Writers Association Famous Bisexuals in History

 

I know that Esperanza Spalding is either lesbian or bisexual, and she's certainly not a vapid woman.

 

I still don't see why you should feel the need to adopt a label, especially if you think it would stifle you in any way... I've known of plenty of lesbians who can find a man attractive, some who get off to men sexually, some who fall in love with, marry, and live many years with them. Your orientation should never define you, and that can be a problem for someone who doesn't have the greatest sense of self; a big move like accepting it and sharing it can wait, years if necessary.

Again, it's not about who can get there first. Some of the older guys say "I wish I had the courage to come out when I was 20", but that's bs. They weren't ready for it at the time, obviously, and honestly, at 23, neither am I. Some people know early on, some find out later, and everyone takes time to process it, to *know* and not be willing to wait any longer before making that move. No one goes from questioning to "I'm gay!" smoothly or easily immediately after acceptance... many fight it, and I assume a lot of our younger open members have been where you are, except at a much earlier time.

Not straight Devil vs Bisexual Devil vs Lesbian Devil don't really exist as titles; you'll still be you. There is nothing to prove, and whether you're a lesbian or not, you can enjoy men visually as you've been doing, but again, give yourself time to become open to the idea that orientation =/= actions. Before you become comfortable figuring out what being a lesbian or a bisexual means for you, it might be a good idea of becoming comfortable with what/who you are first. You're not here to please your parents, other lesbians, members of EC, or society, but yourself.

Unfortunately, that's a journey we all must make, even if not alone in the process. The LGBT community can be just as bad, pressuring others to conform, denying the validity of certain identities, shaming those that don't fit one mold or another, having certain standards, and this is years after living in a heterosexist society and finding we don't quite fit in. You've already accepted the fact that you're not straight, know you're more comfortable with lesbian, and have come out to several people, but you still haven't decided what it means for you... remember, it's not about changing yourself to fit a label, but seeing how that label fits into your overall identity. You don't even have to use "lesbian" to know what you're into. Take your time and be good to yourself, this type of over-thinking is not beneficial for someone in your (our) position.

 

A little bit of hipsterism is sometimes very good for forming your identity, I know I did when I was your age (...I feel old now, I'm 28 btw), although obviously the word hipster wasn't used.

Anyway, I can relate to this part of what you said very much "Once in a while I like to identify as a lesbian. That makes me happy until I find an attractive guy. Then I feel like a freak. If identify as bisexual I just over analyse everything."
I don't mean it's the exact same way for me, but I understand the feeling. I too sometimes feel I would like to just call myself a lesbian. However, the time I could have done so is long gone (until I was about 14) and I am bisexual for sure...I can't deny it: I have been in love with more men than women...So it remains a little confusing every now and then. I don't have any real advice for you, I just thought maybe sharing an experience would maybe help. Time may really be the only thing "solving" this puzzle. Some things you just can't figure out completely by consciously thinking about it...sometimes you need to let something linger until you get a Eureka moment. I had mine when I was about 22 (and yeah, like I said, I am still confused sometimes), but my story is different (it's on EC) although I did like girls first as well.
Like I said in someone else's post, I'm just thinking out loud.

As for role models...Gillian Anderson's story gave me the last push to come out, and even though she doesn't really explicitly identify herself as anything and her story is different, her story helps to this day. I can identify with lesbian people as well, there is always something in their stories I can relate to, but maybe that doesn't work well for your.
I find Anna Kendrick a pretty positive role model if I want to look up to a normal bisexual celebrity, and I try to read things on bisexual blogs on tumbrl and I really enjoy reading parts of this: Lauren Michelle Kinsey: Bi the Bi: Is Bisexuality a Choice?

 

I'd focus on building my confidence and self-esteem up before embracing an lgbt identity. We have enough people on this site who are already depressed, suicidal, and just in a horrible place to have to face these life-changing issues alone, and I wish I could tell them that there's no rush, there's more to life than just your sexuality, and communicating on a forum has it's limits. Really, it takes a healthy, strong person to come out in one piece.

No wonder you were so eager to embrace one or the other! Sadly, you'll have to be secure with yourself first, so you don't constantly doubt your choices, or worse, run from the truth. I know, because I've been stressing over my sexuality for a few months, while everyone else was telling me to chill out, that there was a world outside of labels.

You've got this.

 

Well, if you end being bisexual then you will have an extra motivation to be the best version of yourself and do great things, that way you would contribute to all the bisexual girls of the world who long for a role model, by becoming yourself that role model

 

Bree Essrig is a Youtube personality who is female and bisexual. I've seen her on the Dave Rubin Show a couple of times. I've never watched her videos before on Youtube, but based on what she has said on the show, Bree seems to be a person who sheds some light about bisexuality. Also, she has an advice section on her channel. Perhaps she could be someone to look up to?

 

http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Maria_Konopnicka