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Feelings of isolation and zero LGBT+ support in local area

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Vesta, May 29, 2020.

  1. Vesta

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Wales, UK.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've been out since I was 16 years old, but only out to everyone since I was 24. I think that seriously impacted any chances I had as a young person to meet any LGBT+ people, plus me being me, I end up thinking logically about all kinds of situations I'm in. I'd think about the fact there would be no point in starting a relationship with anyone because I wouldn't be able to bring them home, have them for dinner or whatever else. I had zero income to provide for them, so I just pushed myself into a hole where I refused to even try and be with anyone.

    I went to university at 25 and graduated at 28. During that time I met quite a few LGBT+ people, but since I was a mature student, they were all 8-10 years younger than me. Only one of them, whom was 20 at the time, was extremely mature for her age and I spent a lot of my time repressing any feelings I had for her because she only wanted to experiment with other girls, whereas I wanted more. There was an LGBT+ society at the university, and I did try to go to it, but again, everyone was far too young for me and it never worked out.

    I've been with two men and both times it was just awful and despite how I feel, I would never do it ever again.

    The lockdown in the UK has made me feel very isolated. Not just because I can't go to work and be around people and enjoy doing the thing I love the most, but also because it made me realise how much I missed out on having relationships with other girls growing up because of my refusal to be with anyone because I had no money and couldn't take them places. Plus the fact although I'm quite out, I still refuse to go to LGBT+ events etc and meet other like-minded people.

    I checked around for any LGBT+ groups around where I live, but there's absolutely zero support for anyone older than 25 which just adds to the feelings of isolation. I honestly have no idea what to do. :frowning2:
     
  2. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

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    Location:
    Alberta
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    Male (trans*)
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I know the feeling, it seems like there's a ton of support for those 24 and under, but very little for anyone older.
    I don't really know what to tell you besides being in the same situation as you. I find online communities such as EC are pretty great when it comes to connecting with other LGBT people, especially being in a smaller area. Do you know if the nearest Pride Centre has a Facebook page or if they do any virtual meetings?
     
    Vesta and LostInDaydreams like this.
  3. Vesta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wales, UK.
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    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The nearest pride for me is several miles away. This years was cancelled due to the virus. They don't seem to do any virtual meetings either. :frowning2:
     
  4. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

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    @Hawk is completely right about the 24 and under thing - I tried looking for support groups when I was questioning, but found nothing in my area. I’ve now moved and there is a lesbian group here, but it’s social rather than support focused - I am a member but due to lockdown, I’ve never been to a meeting.

    It’s tricky to know what to suggest, but you’re welcome to post on my profile wall if you just want to chat. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 LostInDaydreams, May 30, 2020
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
    Vesta and Hawk like this.
  5. Vesta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wales, UK.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks, I appreciate that. :slight_smile: