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Feeling stuck

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by BlancaR, Apr 9, 2016.

  1. BlancaR

    Regular Member

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    So I'm new to this site. I've only come out to 2 friends, one which I don't really talk to anymore. I haven't made it public because mainly there's more than just me involved. I'm married with kids. We got together at a very young age and have been together ever since. He's the only person I've ever been with basically and that's been about 19 yrs. I've been questioning my sexuality for years (but several yrs after we had been together & had our first kid) and only recently admitted to myself that I am a lesbian. I look back on my past and remember situations where I think I should have known. I think I got involved with my husband too young to realize my true sexuality and from the point when we met things just went too fast to really stop and realize. I feel kind of stuck though. A few years ago I told him I didn't love him anymore but that ended up with me staying because he threatened to end his life. anyways I do feel I'm gay although I've never been in a relationship with a woman. It's just that I'm not sure how to go about things.
     
  2. HappyStartsNow

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    Hi Blanca,

    Our histories are similar. I have been married 16 years, together 21. I was 15 when we started dating. I file for divorce this week and it was not an easy process getting to this point, but that doesn't mean there isn't hope!

    I started my journey by finding myself an amazing therapist to talk to and help me work all this out in my head. Have you tried counseling? It is freeing :slight_smile:

    Best of luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. BlancaR

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    Yeah, I've thought about counseling. I probably need to just go ahead and try it.

    I was 14 when we got together & I got pregnant at 15.

    I guess at this point I'm afraid of his reaction which I feel would be the worst to deal with. And then of my kids' reactions(one is a teen) and then my parents.

    If I left my husband I wouldn't right out tell him I'm a lesbian. He is homophobic and so is my oldest. But the first step would be to leave because I can't just keep living a lie.

    ---------- Post added 9th Apr 2016 at 08:58 PM ----------

    That's awesome. Thanks for your words. And wish you the best, too!