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Feeling low

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Luria77, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Luria77

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    Just feeling low this week...have come a long ways, separated from my husband, moved out with my daughter, told a few friends that I'm gay...have gone through the stage of "yippee I'm gay!" to now feeling depressed. Realized this yesterday when I had a conversation with a neighbour mom, she was telling me about her marriage (to a man), and I realized that I'll never be in that club again- that straight couples group- I realized that I bent my life around living that life- getting married, having a child etc, feeling like I was doing the "right" thing- I cared so much about what people thought of me.
    I only ever wanted to be "normal" and I closeted myself my whole life in order to not be "different". I'm feeling sad for not being able to live that life (well, I COULD, BUT......) and yesterday my daughter said to me "I don't want you to be gay." And I told her you don't get to choose (believe me!!!) but she told me "Yes you can, you can choose to kiss a boy or a girl." But she's 7, so what does she know- except that even at this age she knows it's "bad" to be different.
    Really feeling unhappy today. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading!
     
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  2. Really

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    Aw @Luria77

    I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. I don’t have any good advice but I’m pretty sure this is normal. The whole process is a jumble of good days and bad and as time passes, the good days will start to outnumber the bad ones until they are few and far between. Do something nice for yourself and hang in there.
    :blossom::butterfly:
     
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  3. Mysteria

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    I'm so sorry you're having a rough day. I'm sure it was very hard to hear your child say that. But she's young, and you have a tremendous teaching opportunity here. You're embracing truth- and that's an amazing thing to model for your children.
     
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  4. silverhalo

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    Hey I'm sorry you are having a low. Hearing your daughter say that must have been really tough. When I was coming out I remember going through these peaks and troughs in mood, they can be really draining but I promise it will get better.
    Do you have any LGBT friends?
     
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  5. LostInDaydreams

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    Sorry to hear you’re having a rough day.

    What is it about that life that you miss? Sure it’s considered normal, but it’s pretty dull. Think about what you want your life to look like and start working towards it! Baby steps.

    Did you ask your daughter why she said that? Open up a conversation. It might be that she associates your sexuality with the changes in her life, and it’s that she’s having trouble with, rather than your sexuality as such. Or, could it be something that children at school have picked up on?
     
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  6. Nic2552

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    ,"




    Sorry to hear that, things will get better, Your daughter is still young ,you could teach her.. (if you haven’t already) about the different types of families... There’s now same sex children books to teach kids at a young age about same sex families
     
  7. Luria77

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    Thanks all for your replies- I feel much better now- you're right, this whole process is so up and down! :slight_smile: Some days are good, some days are bad- hopefully more good than bad eventually!
     
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  8. silverhalo

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    Glad you are feeling better. I promise the ups and down get less extreme.
     
  9. nerdbrain

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    You’re going through a mourning process and it’s natural. You’re mourning the loss of your old life and identity. Give yourself the space and compassion to do that. It’s important.

    Your daughter’s response reminds me of a funny story my parents like to tell about something I said when I was around 6. We were all driving somewhere and somehow the adults’ conversation turned to sex and love. They asked me, “what do you think is the difference between sex and love?” I thought for a moment and said, “I love Chinese shrimp, but I can’t have sex with them.” From the mouths of babes...
     
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