I've been questioning my sexuality for a while now and I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm bi. But at the same time, I'm afraid that I'm actually straight and just faking it to feel "special", especially since I know I seem like a stereotypical straight girl™ to people around me(I mean, I play field hockey for gosh sake. I dare you to think of a more stereotypically straight sport). I just wish there were an ethical, practical way to 100% prove my bisexuality, since a. The two girls I'm attracted to are (probably?) straight and I'm not interested in the three other available bi/pan/lesbian girls I know b. It feels kinda icky to use someone as a test run to figure out my own stuff I want to be able to define my sexuality, but in order to do that I feel like I need "proof", but to get that I feel like I need to be 100% certain. I'm stuck in a catch-22 and I don't know what to do about it.
I am sure there are other bi or lesbian ladies who play sports like field hockey. I don't think things like that are limited to certain genders or sexual orientations. The thing about dating is there will be great relationships and terrible relationships no matter who you actively date. You won't know till you jump in and try.
It speaks well for you that you don't want to use other people as just tools for your curiosity. But really... that's probably what the other girl would be doing too. Unless she has it all figured out already — unlikely. You're totally right that, strictly speaking, dating (sorta like getting a job, sorta like a lot of things!) is a Catch-22. [BTW, read the book, it's a good — if dark — one.] You need the experience you need to get the experience. Put yourself in the other girl's shoes and try to be empathetic about her worries. She'll love you for that. Good luck! (Waiting for your "first date" posting now ) P.S. Funny, at schools I've been to, the "questioning" girls were more highly concentrated in field hockey and soccer.
Genereally speaking, if there's legiminate attraction and feelings, that in itself makes you valid no matter your orientation. There's no need to prove anyone anything. Keep noticing where your attractions go and see where it takes you. If you're dating someone of the same gender, you can tell them that you're questioning. They shouldn't have a problem with that. I didn't know hockey was a straight thing till now. I always thought volleyball was a straight thing... (Obviously the sports you play has nothing to do with your orientation!)
