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Feeling kind of down

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by old tacoma, Apr 3, 2021.

  1. old tacoma

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    With the pandemic situation slowing improving, I thought I would look at taking a trip to my vacation home soon. I have not been able to travel there much lately because of travel restrictions that have been in place for almost a year now.
    This morning I sent a message to a guy I know who lives in that area to see how he’s doing. He has had some respiratory problems the past few years and has been very careful during this time since he is definitely at high risk. He has so far avoided contracting the virus.
    He responded to my message to let me know his lungs have deteriorated now to the point that he will be evaluated next month at a mainland hospital that specializes in lung transplants. If he qualifies, he will be there for 3 to 4 months (surgery and rehab). If he doesn’t qualify for a transplant, he will just come home. I hope only the best for him.
    We met through one of the online sites. We get along well together when we have had the opportunity to meet, and we have maintained contact in between. I’m not shocked at this news, but I am sad. He is one of those all around good guys who I am attracted to on multiple levels.
    I just want to post this since I don’t really have anyone to share this with here at home.
     
  2. Comrade

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    I feel the same way. My grandfather has respiratory problems but fortunately he has the vaccine.
    My thoughts and prayers to you, and be excellent.
     
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  3. QuietPeace

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    I hope that things turn out well for your friend.
     
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  4. SevnButton

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    Hey old tacoma-
    I'm hoping for the best for your friend.
    It's good that you reach out when you're feeling low. Connecting meaningfully with people is the best remedy for lots of things. I'm SO looking forward to getting beyond the pandemic and doing more of that.
    =Sevn
     
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  5. Red Sun

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    Hey @old tacoma, I hope your friend gets better. It's great that the travelling situation is improving too.
     
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  6. old tacoma

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    Thank you, each of you. It’s been a day of reflection for me in several ways. It was exactly 60 years ago, on Easter Sunday when I was a 8 year old kid, that I found myself in the hospital with a life threatening illness. It was all very sudden, caused by an insect bite, but I remember it very clearly. Not every day, but at times like this, when someone close to me comes face to face with our individual mortality. For me, that moment so long ago just wasn’t my time, but the 6 weeks in the hospital made an indelible impression on me. I’m not a religious guy, but I am a sensitive guy, I think in part because of that experience as a kid.
    As I was laying in bed this morning, thinking about the guys I have known well and been intimate with, from my high school best friend (who himself died suddenly at age 33), to the friend I mention here on EC in some of my other posts, I am acutely aware of the fragility of life and my corresponding need to connect with others on what I have been told is a deeper level. I have heard that from others my whole life. And for the guy I have told I love him, I think he just wasn’t (and isn’t) fully understanding why I persist in telling him this every now and then.
    And then there’s my wife. She categorically refuses to reflect on these things at all. Even the mere mention is cause for her to state, “Don’t talk about it, I don’t want to hear it.” I remember when her grandfather passed away, my mother in law was quite distraught and couldn’t understand. Her father was so healthy. But he was 100 years old. He passed in his sleep. He lived a long, full life. Would that we all could be so fortunate!
    I’m not a macabre person, just a realist. And my experience taught me just how precious we all are, and how important it is to tell those you care about just how much you do care about them.
    Thanks again for reading, and your encouragement.
     
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  7. Comrade

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    You remind me of Kurt Vonnegut. The way you think and talk. Are you an author?
     
    #7 Comrade, Apr 4, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2021
  8. old tacoma

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    @Comrade — Thanks. No, I’m not an author. Really just a regular type guy, who tries to live life fully.
     
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  9. Comrade

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    Well you are wise. And wisdom is very important these days, because Google doesn't have it.
     
  10. Suitsme

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    I do hope that your friend gets the help and care that he needs to get better or at the very least, treatment to make him more comfortable.

    I fully understand the way you think. I am 51, and as I’ve got older, with chronic health conditions myself, it makes me reflect back as well to those people who I have lost over the years. I take comfort in the fact that those people all came to me on my life’s journey and left me with valuable lessons along the way.

    The people I love always get told. Even during the lockdowns I send little cards through the post reminding them. It really is important to show people you care.

    Life really is fragile. This Covid pandemic proves that.

    However, whilst I’m not a religious person, I have had enough experiences to make me believe in an afterlife. I take comfort in the fact that the soul moves on in its journey but never truly leaves us. Love never dies and we are connected to those that have passed over, even if we can’t see them.

    I see, hear and sense spirit and I’ve had out of body experiences. I also have been connected in the past to a spiritualist church (I played the organ there for a bit too).

    This is all just my own opinion though and we all believe differently. I’m not afraid to die myself, I just don’t want to leave behind those I love here.... yet.

    You sound such a kind and caring man. The world needs more people like you in it.
     
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  11. Patrick7269

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    I hope your friend gets the care he needs and makes a good recovery. Isn’t it funny to look back on life and see who left the impressions on the heart? Sometimes it’s the friend, the crush, or the potential partner that gave us the most hope or represented the most potential.

    I also believe that we are primarily spirit, and on a perpetual journey much larger than what we see physically. I believe that the people who come into our lives and find significance in our hearts are meant to be part of that journey.