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Feeling invisible

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Love2sleep, Aug 20, 2020.

  1. Love2sleep

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    Posting this as that’s how I feel sometimes.. invisible. I am a feminine lesbian who finds it difficult to meet other lesbians due to being quite an introvert. When I do venture out to gay clubs or bars, I lay as if I’m invisible or straight! I was wondering if there are others who also feel this way?
     
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  2. Shavs1

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    Thats exactly how I feel. Im an introvert aswell which I guess kinda shys us from putting ourselves out there. So yeah theres alot more of "us" that feels "invisible" out there
     
  3. Love2sleep

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    I’m sorry you feel “invisible” too. I can see you!
     
  4. Shavs1

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    haha I see u aswell
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

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    I’m sorry that you’re feeling invisible. I’ve encountered difficulties connecting with other lesbians too, particularly in the town I moved away from a year or so ago, and it is frustrating. I’m an introvert too, but I find it easier to talk to people when there is a clear reason for me to be doing so. For example, I couldn’t walk up to somebody in bar and just start chatting, but I could talk to somebody I didn’t know if we were attending meetup organised by a social group. I’m not usually a group person, but did join my local lesbian group for that reason (though the meetups have nearly always fallen on the weekends that I spend with my daughter. Haha). I know that it might not currently be an option with coronavirus restrictions, but that’s possibly something to consider in the future? Or people do use friendship and dating apps to talk to and meet new people.
     
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  6. AimLew

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    Hi!!

    I won’t lie, I’m basically the epitome of the word introvert to begin with but once I get to know people I’m happy chat away.

    Tbh, you’re a lot braver than I am with Meetup groups, I’ve genuinely been a member for over a year and keep saying yeahhhh that sounds good and then never sign up to events because I feel like they’re gonna be cliquey and everyone will know each other and I’ll just want the floor to swallow me up!

    Sonetimes I also find myself thinking “hmmm maybe I should start a group for shy people to join and make sure everyone knows EVERYONE is new and we’re all in the same boat...” again, I don’t think I’d have the courage... give us hope! XD ...

    I get what you mean though, you’d think a big city like London I’d find a social/friendship group... especially since I get on with most people I meet... it’s yet to happen!!

    Amz. ❤️
     
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  7. AimLew

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    That reply was for post and all comments..happy to connect with people! - I’d actually love to make some friends!
     
  8. Songful

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    I’m an introvert as well and usually shy/reserved with people until I get comfortable with them. Once I’ve let someone into my personal bubble though, I’ll chat their ear off. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: I express myself better through writing, which is one reason I enjoy being on this forum. :relaxed:
     
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  9. LostInDaydreams

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    I guess it probably depends on the group, but even so, they were all new once, right? There’s nothing to lose by going once or twice and if you don’t like it after a few meetups, then don’t go back.
     
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  10. Tiffy34

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    Same.. I feel so lonely.. I'm 24. I do use a friendship and dating app regularly but i'm in a very small town and it doesn't seem to "click" with anyone.. :/
     
    #10 Tiffy34, Aug 21, 2020
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2020
  11. Shavs1

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    I know that feeling.. its so hard when you've tried but don't click with anyone
     
  12. Shavs1

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    Lol I can't help myself.. your DP.. umh you're a fan.. is she your crush??
     
  13. Tiffy34

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    Demi Lovato? No, not at all. She is my role model. :slight_smile: Not any other feelings related.
     
  14. StillHorny

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    Of course there are other people who feel this way. I'd bet everyone would say it's true at some times. Something to try is to find another shy person (head down, won't look at you, looks miserable) and say hi. You don't have to be attracted to her or like her. Say hi and ask how she's doing. A secret tool for introverts is to ask questions of the other person. This way, we don't have to talk. Even if you think it's dumb, ask. People like being paid attention to. You just have to be the first once in a while.
     
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  15. Shavs1

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    Haha ok. I just love love her. Huge fan
     
    #15 Shavs1, Aug 21, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2020
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  16. LaraB

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    I’m also gay and in the UK. Only recently started coming out though so can’t comment on the feeling invisible bit yet. But hello!
     
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  17. Dreambig77

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    I can relate soooo well to this. I too have been a member of a meetup group but can never muster the courage to actually go. And I too have thought of starting a group for introverts in the LGBTQ community and that still hasn't happened..for obvious reasons lol. Hoping to meet some friends here :slight_smile:
     
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  18. Peterpangirl

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    All I can say is that I understand the feeling. I feel invisible too. I have a girlfriend who is fairly feminine too, but she laughs when I say I think I am a bit butch. You are what you are....sending you supportive vibes...femmes rock too!
     
    #18 Peterpangirl, Aug 23, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2020
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