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feeling heartbroken over someone i barely knew...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CL1990, May 22, 2019.

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  1. CL1990

    CL1990
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    last summer i met this girl on holidays we are from different cities and we have seen each other a couple of times since...its always been really intense and loving (kissing but no full sex)

    last time i saw her was a couple months ago and now i feel i am being ignored massively by her. She used to reply to my messages but she takes ages to reply now so i stopp texting cuz it really hurts when she leaves me "hanging" but sometimes i really cant help it and i send her stuff that reminds me of her etc.

    i feel so silly...she is clearly not interested but i just want to talk to her so badly, plan a meetup etc. i simply cant let her go.....fair to say she is the first girl ive ever kissed (although i sound like a teenager, im 28) but im not sure if i feel so attached to her because ive found it hard in the past to find girls i found attractive that i would have a chance with or just because i feel lonely in general..

    any advice would be really helpful guys...! :frowning2:
     
    #1 CL1990, May 22, 2019
  2. smurf

    smurf
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    Its probably a combination of both. Its why it hurts so much because you like what she represented and how she made you feel. Its totally normal.

    You had a summer fling it sounds like. Lovely and full of passion, but its also short lived.

    Enjoy the experience for what it was, enjoy the memories, and be glad it happened. But yeah, moving on is hard. Good news is that the pain and the longing also passes with time. You won't feel this obsessed over her forever.

    Hang in there. Its kinda of like a right of passage type of thing. I still remember the first random guy that I ever kissed. We danced the whole night, made out on the dance floor, and also had some other guys join us. It was a crazy an amazing feeling and I used to be obsessed with the guy. Now I don't even remember his name, but I still remember how it felt.

    Tons of hugs. Just hang on and keep on doing you.
     
    #2 smurf, May 23, 2019
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  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Hey that's not a nice situation to be in. It sounds like you did know her a fair bit and together you obviously shared a connection, even if she now isn't interested in pursuing it any further. I don't think it is silly to be upset I think it is totally natural. I also think it would help if she was just honest with you rather than you not really knowing exactly what's going on.
    It's ok to be upset for a bit, try and keep yourself busy and it will get easier. In time you will be able to just look back at it and remember the good times you shared.
     
    #3 silverhalo, May 23, 2019
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  4. CL1990

    CL1990
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    thanks guys!! now i kind of regret not having sex with her aswell... not sure why as at the time it wasnt something i wanted and i felt it all moved too quickly but i guess is just being able to feel that experience as well (perhaps like tiking a box)..arrrrgggg too much thinking!!
     
    #4 CL1990, May 23, 2019
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    I don't think you have anything to regret or feel that you have missed out on something, including not having had sex with her. Chances are that you would feel the hurt and disappointment(s) even more so. The stronger the attachments, the stronger the bond you are forming the longer it will take to be able to move past what was and what could have been. In some respects, and taking into consideration your opening post, it looks to be a blessing in disguise.

    You will have opportunities to check mark all the boxes and hopefully it is going to be with someone where you can feel that they are as much interested in you, as you are in them. You will find another girl with whom it will click. Sometimes it takes a while, but at other times, finding someone with whom it clicks is around the corner. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Mirko, May 23, 2019
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  6. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I don't think you should regret not having sex at the time it wasn't what you wanted and if you had you might have regretted that. You will find the right person and it will happen when the time is right.
     
    #6 silverhalo, May 25, 2019
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  7. CL1990

    CL1990
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    thank you all for taking the time and your kind words!! as always it makes me feel less lonely
     
    #7 CL1990, May 25, 2019
  8. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    No worries anytime.
     
    #8 silverhalo, May 27, 2019
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