This week haven't been easy for me at all. I really can't handle rejections that well, no matter from people or from potential work places. I went to a new interview, because the previous job I took was so uncertain, because they only call you in, when needed and there is no insurance and this new one I really liked, but I didn't make the cut and the reason was, that I don't have enough experience, even though in the job ad, this was never mentioned, that you need an experience on this too. They would have teached you everything anyway. All of it I would have been easilly learned, because I have already experience in client service. I feel like I have just simply wasted my time. Everyone are telling me that I just should go for any job and not bother with studying, but I don't want any job. I want to like the job, otherwise it would be miserable. Not all jobs suit me either. It needs to be part time too and have a schedule, when I go in, since I'm helping out my family members too. I finished one school, so I would be able to get a job easier and work, but reality is not that kind. Nothing seems to work out in my favour. The only thing I could do is start my own business, but for that I need some income too to get the material needed to start it, what I want to do eventually anyway and working on it now too. This is the only thing that keeps me motivated. I got into uni that helps me realize my goals and give me more knowledge, but I feel like it's so unreachable. I just wish for a little bit better life, rather than just living from month to month and reach a level of independence. Are those wishes too much to ask for? My self confidence really got a set back. I just feel like I want to go back into my tiny bubble, not socialice with anybody and just be left alone. I really dislike venting this much, because I feel like I leave a bad impression on myself, but I really needed to let this out. Depression is really kicking my butt. Today I was doing my tasks as usual, but feel just like crying all the time and I feel like my deppression shows, like people I pass realize, that this person is deppressed and it makes me so self conscious. Thank you for reading!
Hey, Rejections aren't easy for anyone. Unfortunately, they're an unavoidable part of life, but they often say just as much about the person doing the rejecting as they do about you, sometimes more so. So please don't blame yourself. And no you haven't wasted your time at all! Every interview can be a learning experience. It's great you've gotten into uni, does your course start soon? At uni they usually have a lot of support and advice, and maybe someone there could help you more with your financial and employment situation? But in the meantime, please keep trying, even if it's hard. Have you thought about agency work at all? Those wishes aren't too much to ask for at all. Please keep trying to reach your goals. Unfortunately struggle is a part of life for a lot of us, me included, and sometimes it feels like we're trying our best and just not getting anything back at all. But if you keep trying, one day you'll look back at all the progress you've made and you won't believe you've done it. Depression isn't your fault at all. It's an illness, and nothing to do with who you are as a person. And although it's awful, it's okay to be depressed. To allow yourself those feelings. The important thing is to also let them pass. Maybe take a day off here and there, reward yourself when you can and give yourself rest. But always keep trying when you can too, because little efforts add up to bigger achievements over time. Please keep trying on your job search, and please give uni a go! You never know where it could lead you =)
Hey @Cinnamoon Thank you for the encouraging words. I feel a better already. I think a big part that made me feel worse was the fact that I wanted to have everything sorted out fast, because of worrying about finances and trying to find partner for myself, so I pushed myself too much and when the things didn't work out, then it just made me feel even more depressed and my anxiety medication was all taken, what affected me too, but now I have it again, so that also makes me so much calmer. I also rested a bit and took a small break from being online. I have a set sight in front of me, where I want to get to and that is a big motivator for me. I needed to google what is agency work, because in my language it's called differently. I've been to before töötukassa (I think in English it is work agency), what is a place, where people go to get help finding jobs and they get financial support and healt insurance and can take courses to learn new skills. It's been helpful, but I've found I make more progress, if I just find a job on my own. When I first went there, they teached us a little bit and made us do volunteer work and in the end I still found a place that hired me on my own. It was just frustrating needing to explain to them, why I still haven't found a job and why the certain job they offered wont suit me. I've sent my CV to a few other places, that seem to suit my needs and have the skills for. It's also frustrating, when you know you have all those skills needed, but still wont get hired and then your mind comes up with all the negative things, like maybe they didn't like you're looks or something. I'm good with computers, know English and little bit of Finnish and Russian, though many places want you to be fluent in Russian too, but I was never able to become fluent, since I don't use it that much. In university I get to take a few language courses and Finnish and Russian are one of them and maybe I try to put effort in learning them. I have two certifications (one for caregiver and one for spa therapist). For a longest time I had no freacking clue what I wanted to do in life or what my dream is. Everyone else seemed to had it all figured out, but one thing just lead to another. Right now I'm absolutely happy with being in the tourism field. I'm going to study "Tourism and Hotel management", because my end goal is to have my own business related to that. My course starts officially in 29th of August. There are people, who help you in uni where I go too, they also offer councelling. I've been doing some hard work before, like washing dishes and cleaning in a pizza restoraunt by being on your feet a whole day and got to back home at 5 in the morning or working in a nursing home and in a hospital and done 24 or 48 hour shifts, so I don't afraid to work. I'm no stranger to that, but when your health and your family's needs also comes in the way, then you have to do some changes there too. It's also useful to be in university, since you have health insurance automatically that way, otherwise I would have to pay for all of the psychiatrist and psychologist visits. I can't afford that. Wanted to add that university education in Estonia is free, only some courses you do need to pay for, but not for the course I'm taking. I will definetly keep trying, while I have enough strenght and my health allows it. I'm actually quite exited to start university, since it also offers me a change in my routine and lets me meet new people and be active, while gaining knowledge. I want to try and join clubs too.
Hey Rayland, I'm sorry for all the stress and depression you've been feeling. I can feel the let down about the job when the ad didn't say experience was needed. You sound very capable and determined and could have done the job very well and they messed up not hiring you. I hope something that's even better for you will come along soon. I can also feel your excitement for Uni so please hold onto that and I'm really happy for you!! You already know about the student services there which is awesome! That's something I wish I knew of back then and got help from. It sounds like you will do very well and already know a lot about uni. I hope you meet kind people and it's really good for you! Thank you for your work and the kindness you share here too
Thank you for the kind words. I will try and do my best. The first thing I did after I got in, was searching all the information and wrote down the important dates, otherwise I will just forget, because adhd sucks, but I have kinda learned to deal with that. I'm hopeful, so we will see. Thank you again.
