Feel like giving up

Hello Old Soul,

I can relate to what you feel because I am living a similar situation: I'm 25, didn't finish my degree, don't have a job and live with my parents. I've also been suffering from depression and other problems related for several years. This probably won't help you at all, but you are not alone and you are not a loser. (*hugs*)

I don't know if you have talked about your therapist about your suicidal thoughs. If not, it would be a good idea. Probably, they could help you in a better way than anyone. I know I'm not telling you anything that you don't know.

I can't give you any valuable piece of advice, but it's important that you don't give up. Your health is the most important thing right now. The therapists and doctors I've seen always tell me that it's important to have small goals at the beginning. Based on what you've posted, getting a job is your biggest worry right now. Maybe you could start with something which is not too hard for you, for example a part-time job. It could help you to feel more comfortable and save a little money. It's just an example.

Keeping yourself busy with hobbies you enjoy is something that can help to make you feel better too.

Sorry if I'm not much helpful. (*hugs*)

 

You're not a loser at all. Everyone goes through hard times, you shouldn't feel bad about it. I felt just as depressed and awful as you as recently as one year ago, but in that one year things have gotten better than I ever could have imagined back then. Don't think about suicide, that's not the right answer. All that would do is deny you any future happiness you might have had. Wouldn't it suck if you did that right before your life was going to better? It can always get better at any time, you just need to keep moving forward in search of betterment.

I'd suggest focusing all your energy on getting a job, and if it doesn't pay enough for you to move out on your own you can try to get a second job too to save the money you need to live on your own. Having a job or two will help you make some friends too, since you'll have coworkers to spend time with.

 

Guys, some advice from an "old" guy. Life WILL get better! Sometimes there seems no end in sight for all the negative things that can be suffered in life. I been there, I had the gun loaded, don't do it. Sometimes meds take weeks to work. A med that works for one person will not do anything for another. Talk to your doc about what you are or are not feeling, see what he thinks about changing meds.
I know that it is hard to get motivated but a job will do wonders for your self worth. Lion, get back to college its not too late for you. For me its a little different, I don't want to incur 50+K worth of debt at 45 years old. If you don't go back, life will be much harder.

Just my thoughts
Take Care All of you
Dean

 

Thank you so much for your advice.

I've thought about it a lot of times, in fact.

 

Please don't hurt yourself. There are people who care about you even if you don't think there are. Just look at how many people are concerned about you in this post already. Things will get better. If you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.

 

As dark as it may seem at the moment, it will always get better. Once you think you hit rock bottom, you can only go up right?

I struggled with self image issues and depression. There will be bad days when you feel like everything is meaningless and you lose all hope, but I promise you it will get better.

I have a friend that I was very close to that tried to overdose on pills one day. She felt so lonely after moving schools and being used by her "friends," I immediately called the ambulance and tried to get her to the hospital asap. It took a toll on me and many people that were close to her. She was luckily safe and healthy after being released from the hospital. She found the support she needed in her family, friends, and most importantly herself. I am happy to report that she is very content with her life atm. She is on the path to a very successful life. She's hanging out with her normal friend group again, laughing, joking, and enjoying herself.

Just focus on getting through the day and forget about what's going to happen tomorrow. It will get better no matter how you feel right now.

I know you can be just as strong as her and keep on fighting. If you need anyone to talk to you can dm me

 

This thread demonstrates that people do care. We may not have a magic answer that will turn your life around overnight, but we've taken the time to read your thread and reach out, even though we don't know you personally. When you are struggling with depression and feelings of despair it's easy to lose sight of simple things like the caring thoughts and comments of people who are part of the same community, even if we are scattered in different states and countries.

Depression sucks the energy and motivation out of us and it totally clouds our judgement and perspective. Instead of seeing lots of little problems that have combined (and can be separated out and worked on over time), we see this overwhelming monster that threatens to consume us. Instead of taking one day at a time we try to look far ahead and then sink when we have no clear picture. The tiredness feels all consuming and drains us on every level and we lose hope and belief in our ability and say bad things about ourselves, like "I'm a loser". In reality, you're not a loser, but you are feeding off the negative energy of depression and I'm guessing the suicidal feelings come from that same place of utter resignation and despair... but if you step back and look at things slightly differently you might ask yourself this question... do I really want to die? What would it actually mean to foreshorten your life at this stage? I ask this question, because I did see cause for hope when I read your post, even if you can't see it yourself. In the midst of everything you still wish to get a job and a place of your own and you're still aiming for personal freedom. These are your real desires in life, but you are in a rut at this time and it doesn't feel achievable... but it can be done. Can you tell yourself that?

What does your daily routine look like right now? You say you are at home and without a job, so what do you do to pass the time, if anything? How long have you been in this situation? What would you like to do for work?

Talk to us. When we keep quiet and bottle our feelings up we become complicit in our own despair. The monster that is depression can be defeated, but only if you speak out against it.

 

Old Soul, several years ago someone I know handed me a small piece of paper with these words typed on it. It's been in my wallet...

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It is the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socializing. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's caring about everything and then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.

On the back was handwritten, Dean, please know that you are not alone. OLD SOUL, please know that you are not alone!

 

That is an amazing quote. So close to home.

 

Like walking through a bank of fog? Not sure if any of your decisions are correct?

Dean

 

There's still good left in this world. And it's worth fighting for. I too am an old soul trapped in this dark world of misery and woe. Only I'm 27 now. Let's see, old soul, arts degree, indecisiveness. I take it you're a Pisces but if you're not it's a good guess anyway. I've been trying to win my interests back for some time now. It's pretty hard, if not impossible. I don't think that you can ever fully cure depression but you can find coping strategies. That's where I'm at now. Trying to find some sort of release. Art therapy seems to work. But finding the will to do it has been proving difficult.

I'm probably too far gone to give any sensible advice but you remind me of myself. And so I felt the urge to respond.

 

I knew it! I feel like I found a long lost brother!