Fear of having sex?

I find that perfectly reasonable. Even if the person is responsible as an adult some of things you can get as a teen might not show up for years. Personally I ask any potential partner to get tested, just in case. Yeah, a lot of people take it badly... but at the same time, if the person isnt a virgin then indirectly you have sex with every person theyve had sex with. I think that if a person respects you and your boubdaries then a simple test isnt too much to ask.

 

I agree. The first perso I had sex with said I didnt need a condom because she had a IUD, and I was dumb and horny enough to go right in. Luckily I did not catch anything. Now I am looking to have my first gay experience, pretty much I want to see what the other side is like, and it is scary to think they could have something too. I just hope they are honest about whether they have something or not.

 

The STI thing is kind of over exaggerated. Yes it's possible to get them, but it's not like everyone out there has them. More people are clean than have STI's. Plus even if you did catch one, a lot of them are easy to get rid of, it's just taking a pill or getting treated. Herpes you can generally physically see on their body so is easy enough to avoid.

You should still use condoms to be safe, but you really don't have much to be afraid of. Nearly every human to ever live has had sex, and we're all still alive right...

I dislike this number, but if it makes you feel less fearful of it... I've done it with about 150 people, half the time with no protection at all, and have never gotten any type of STI or STD.

 

I will be asked and expected for sure to bottom for my new partner very soon and although i am ok with the idea what i am concerned about is if it will hurt and what it feels like as i have not had anal before..I’m looking for advice and some encouragement on this matter.

 

I would say you should clean up inside, say an hour or 2 before it happens, can be done with a enema bulb. When it comes to actually doing it, use lots of lube, maybe start out with a toy, or use a toy immediately after the enema bulb, and take things slow.

 

As always do things safely, use a condom. Being your first time make sure things go slowly, lots of lube will help too. Everyone’s body is different. So for some preping foreplay is necessary to get the sphincter relaxed for sex, some not so much. Just go slow and if something hurts, stop. Trying to force it will not help.

In my experience my first time, there was some discomfort at first but that subsided quickly. Then from the stimulation of the prostate and the anus I had pleasure sensations that started in my groin area and as it continued went throughout my body. Now as things progressed things started to go a little to fast for me at the time. And that led to some minor pain. But I stopped him relaxed a bit and that subsided.

It’s hard to discribe how it feels. I don’t know what type of anal play you have done in the past, so I don’t know what to compare it to. But the pain factor if you go slow and easy, shouldn’t be a factor.

 

Thanks for the advice much appreciated.
My partner is very keen for me to bottom for him and he tells me he wants me on hands and knees from behind. Not sure how that will feel and certainly will not refuse him before trying.

 

Some people find that position to be one of the most comfortable for them. For me now that I’m more experienced like several different positions. But the position you described is how it was my first time and for a while. Just remember to communicate if you need him to slow down or stop. All should go ok.

 

I also commend you for keeping an open mind to it. Some people wouldn’t be so open minded to even try it.

 

Well i want to make him happy. He has been a while with no sex i think so i guess he is looking to be satisfied.

 

Personally, doggy style is a rough position to start with. I would go either you riding him or missionary so he can read your face and know how slow or fast to go. Doggy style also takes your control of how deep and how fast away a bit, while missionary allows you to use your hands to guide him more.

If it works then it works, but if you feel yourself unable to bottom doggy style then I would suggest trying missionary first. You can work yourself up to doggy style later

This is a bit... problematic. Just make sure you are respecting your own boundaries and don't even let guilt make you have sex when you don't want to

 

Ummm. I know you asked about anal sex. BUT. You have yet to meet this man and you are considering positions for your first time? I am not judging when I say this...at all. But, maybe you should try going on a date and having a beer? Maybe just try to hold each other and watch the TV? Maybe a little kissing? Take your time.

My first time was a great experience. But, I knew the guy well enough to trust him to be safe and to be gentle. It was part of a weekend long "date" camping in the desert and I will treasure the experience. But, I had been with the guy maybe ten times before this and had built up the intimacy.

Since you asked about your first time. The first time I bottomed, I took control. I had him spend a lot of time giving me oral and using a lubed condom on me. Then, I had him lie on his back and I was able to control the penetration myself. This worked really well because I could stop when I needed. Plus, his facial expressions were such a turn on and the eye contact added to the experience. After awhile, we changed positions and I topped him so I could understand what he felt. It was a couple hours I think of this trading back and forth and doing a little at a time.

Don't be in a hurry and rush this. There is no reason for that. And, don't just trust someone you haven't even met yet.

 

I truly hope that it works out for both of you