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fear of coming out during sleep?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hope4love, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. Hope4love

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    is this going too far for me?
    I'm scared i will lose my mind, I can't sleep properly because I didn't come out, and I'm sharing the room with my siblings, I wake up during the night because sometimes i talk when sleeping, and since I'm repressing this part of me, I'm afraid to death of coming out or even saying a word that relates to the community, I wake up with fast heart beats and short breath everyday, but after realizing I didn't say anything from their expressions, it goes away until i go back to sleep again, do i need a therapist for this?
    can you also relate?
     
  2. quebec

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    Hope4love.....So often we face problems that we just do not have the ability to solve. Many men can not accept this as society has hammered in to us the "macho" stereotype. We must be tough, emotionless and all problems, especially an emotional problem should just bounce right off of us. What bullshit. When you get terribly sick you go see a doctor...nobody thinks you're being weak when that happens. But think about talking to a therapist and we are immediately considered weak and pathetic. So wrong, so very wrong. Yes...talk to someone...a close friend or relative. Absolutely find a LGBTQ qualified therapist or even a gay therapist (my therapist is gay). Talk to them, let them help guide to you accept and love yourself. You deserve to be at peace with yourself and sometimes we just need help to get there. Please keep us updated about this. You are part of our LGBTQ and we do care...a lot.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. Mlpguy88

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    I think you are ok. The chances of you saying something that will out you at the moment your sibling happens to be awake would be pretty slim. If this were to somehow happen, then you will always have the response that you were only dreaming.

    If you aren't ready to tell them then you don't need to. Please try not to stress yourself into losing sleep
     
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  4. Shallow waters

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    Oh my, I actually was scared of the same thing for awhile, but now it seems kind of just anxiety over just simply being out, I worried for a while about it, im not fully out except I told my mom and a couple best friends, but before I told anyone I really struggled with it, even the act of sleep talking scared me because if I were to say something and someone was in my room as I say it, ugh. And by the way from my experience, if you really want to tell someone, and you’re ready to, it is worth it to me, but make sure who you tell is someone you can trust, I had an issue with people outting me before, ive moved from there though, but back to why, it really gives you a feeling of freedom, and it also kind of helped me to better understand myself because it allowed me to feel free and normal to someone that I let myself understand it was ok. Im not ready myself to be completely out to everyone myself, but it is nice to be out to the ones that matter most, but I really hope you are able to come out soon, once you do it really feels so much better to live life and not hide.
     
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  5. SilverSilence

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    As someone who has screamed in their sleep before (ex. "fuck off!!" right as my mom entered the room irl) I can say that it's unlikely that something will slip. When I talk in my sleep it's usually something I say in the dream (especially when I'm not fully asleep) that I also say irl. If you're dreaming consistently of gay topics, it may be a concern, but otherwise you should be relatively fine.
     
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  6. Hope4love

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    yeah that's true, i thought discussing them online with similar people and educating myself about this topic would help, and it did help me stop repressing my true feelings, but now i'm struggling with another problem that is overthinking, i keep telling myself that it's not a big deal, and i should just move on, but it's really difficult if not impossible to stop thinking about something i repressed for 5 years. and i also can't stop questioning the validity of this whole sexual orientation topic because there is just way too much information about this topic and it's connected with so many other factors that is making it so complex to tackle.