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Fatphobia: thoughts?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Mare, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. Mare

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    I've always thought people have been hindered by this. I have always been active and confident and people have always complimented me on being beautiful but more like "you have such a beautiful face" and losing weight made so many people (those who had no interest in me before sexually) want to suddenly date me.

    It's so frustrating because I honestly don't really care. If someone is cute, they're cute. They're funny, they're sweet, smart, whatever. I actually prefer heavier set people physically.

    What are your thoughts? I have literally have had people be ashamed of having feelings for me because of my weight - or at least that's what I've been able to conclude.

    I do wonder if this is a real deterrent for people and what they think? Have you experienced this? Have you ever liked someone but didn't pursue because of their weight?
     
  2. Chip

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    I don't like the word "phobia" because I don't think what you are describing is an unusual fear of fat people, which is what "phobia" refers to. That said, I think it really boils down to individual perceptions of beauty and attractiveness. Some people are very attracted to fat people. Others are attracted to extraordinarily thin people. Others hate brunettes and love blondes, while still others prefer people of one or another race, skin color, or something else. To a large extent, it's all within the realm of personal preference.

    Now... our society has, for the past several decades, celebrated people who were thin and in shape, and this has no doubt affected how people think... but this wasn't always the case if you go back a few decades.

    I think if someone likes someone and is attracted to them, they aren't going to avoid going out with them out of fear of what others think. If they do... that's on them, and something they should want to work on.
     
    #2 Chip, Dec 13, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
    Ruby Dragon likes this.
  3. Xc220

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    At the end of the day, people are going to like what they are attracted to..and that could be fat, thin, tall short...a wealth of variety. Now with that said, society has pretty much always viewed skinny people in preference to fatter individuals, but that doesn't boil down to a deterrent just because of the weight alone. Weight wouldn't, or at least it shouldn't, play any part in terms of friendship, or getting to know someone or anything like that. But in terms of attraction, it will be played. I mean for me personally, I am not attracted to fat people but that also stems from my personal battle with weight. I used to be fat, then I lost the weight and now I'm slim, eat healthy and exercise and it's just a mind thing now. I am attracted to those who care for their body and are slim, and I don't say that to be bad, but it's my preference and I can't help it. I have been attarcted to someone from the basis of their face, their personality but I couldn't pursue because of their weight and it's just because in some ways, I can't respect the lack of respect someone can have for their body. Now I know people can have health problems and everything like that, but my point is just that people will have their preferences and reasons and there's no point in arguing it because at the end of the day it isn't going to change because having opinion and preference is human. It doesn't mean there is any reason to be ashamed...you are you at the end of the day and if you are happy that way, then people shouldn't care about what others think.