For context, I'm 25 transgender nonbinary and autistic (but very capable of being independent), live in Brazil as well. I'm on testosterone with gender and name changed in my documents, planning on getting top and bottom surgeries in the future. I basically want to live alone, but I can't find a way to move out without my dad trying to find ways to not let me achieve that. The main reason I want to leave is because I feel uncomfortable living with him and my stepmom, knowing they are authorities in my home which makes it not feel like my own. So it made sense to me that if I wasn't going to feel comfortable while living with them, that means I have to move out. This is where things get bizarre... In my opinion, anyway. While they now respect my pronouns and name, they were very transphobic when I first came out and that made me lose my trust in them. I don't see much of a reason to share a home with my family anymore. I wanted to be able to solve this issue without drama, but I might need to shut it down just like I did while starting my transition. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this...
If your dad is actively trying to impede your life, then do what you gotta do. I would tell him now that you're capable of being independent, you want to find a partner and start a life with them. Which is a little hard to do living at home. ( Even though that may not be what you want right now, I think it's the most effective statement to drive your point across). Also you can move close to home or moderately close to home, so he may be more accepting of your decision. Also you could challenge him to help you. It's his job as a parent to guide and teach you to become an independent adult. If he doesn't think you're ready then ask him to help you to become ready to move out. Ask him why he specifically doesn't think you're ready and tell him you want to make a plan to master these issues so you can move forward in life. If he doesn't know or drags his feet, then tell him if he can't teach you then you can't wait around getting stuck. Your only option is to strike out on your own and learn and teach yourself if he can't. Doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Wow that is very unfortunate circumstance. On the lighter note good for you for being who you are and being open and becoming independent. That’s amazing. I hope everything comes together and you get it worked out and get your own place. You deserve it for sure.
