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family issues

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dano218, Sep 18, 2021.

  1. dano218

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    I have only one family member pretty much that I have a deep personal family relationship with who i feel l can tell anything to and has had that kind of relationship for the most part since i came out to her as gay. She is my first cousin and that there has been a lot of drama in my family involving her and her family and it never seems to go away. My family has this very negative view of her and from my experience i never had any real problems with her. I feel like i really want to text my mom how much she has really meant to me because they really have no idea thought i struggle with whether i should speak out on her behalf or not. I have been estranged from my sister and my cousin actually feels more like a sister to me thought i won't mention that detail to my parents. i am just torn whether i should go out of my way to defend her and what she has meant to me or not.
     
  2. FireFox

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    To be honest I think defending her will cause even more conflict, from the sounds of it I can't see their way of thinking change so I'd leave them to it, for the most part I'd keep out the way.

    Maintain your relationship with your cousin.
     
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  3. Chip

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    There's no easy answer here. I agree with Firefox that it may create more drama. But on the other hand, I'd suggest thinking about your cousin, and what you would want if you were in her shoes. If you think the benefit to her from your showing your support will be significant, I'd say go for it. And if things are already strained with your family members, is there much to worry about or lose at this point with them?
     
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  4. QuietPeace

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    One possible thing to do is ask your cousin what she thinks that you should do. If she is fine with you only having a relationship with her totally unknown to your immediate family then you can just ignore any negative things that your mother or other family members might say. If she indicates that she would really appreciate your support within the family maybe she can help you decide who to talk to and what to tell them.
     
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  5. dano218

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    My whole family is fine with me being gay besides my older sister for whatever reason doesn’t want to accept it. It’s all from some unrelated drama having to do with my cousins family that never seems to go away. After really thinking about it there is really no point to it and I think having struggled with whatever it’s worth the energy to talk about it I don’t think it’s worthwhile at all.

    I guess this is my own personal issue I’m dealing with you have my sister well liked by everyone yet treated me like shit while my cousin who I can open up to better than anyone is looked down on in my family. It’s feels kind of petty even when saying just the way I feel about it.
     
  6. dano218

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    From what I can tell from her she would want to me leave it alone and I’m just gonna do just that as much I entertained the thought.
     
  7. dano218

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    My parents had a another conversation with me about my cousin and it upset me personally especially when my mom asked if my cousin deleted me from Facebook like she deleted them from Facebook. My cousin didn’t delete them from Facebook from what I can tell and the thing annoys me so I much feel compelled to tell my parents how important my cousin is in my life because they really have no idea. It’s all so stupid yet frustrating.