Would welcome any support/conversation/advice about gay, lesbian culture. I'm omnisexual and I interpret that as being attracted to the person and not necessarily the gender. I have recently been attracted to women but trying to maintain my hetero marriage. I fully accepted I'm not straight later in life, and now I find myself wanting to learn about and explore gay culture while still trying to be faithful to my husband and not hurt him. It's like being torn in 2 different directions and not having gotten to go to prom, (which I did as a straight girl). Feeling sad and wanting to be accepted in this new culture as well. And I have seen men my age, 50s, on this site, but wondering about women. Just as mentors/, peers. Always been the big sister, and would kind of like one in this world, regardless of gender or age.
I tend to think that queer culture is not something that exists on its own in isolation. It has been part of world culture for millennia. We see it in everything from ancient artwork and myths to television, film, music, art, theater, fashion, and literature. So many of our creative types are queer that it is impossible to separate them from their works. All those works of creativity are part of them and they are the things that move our soul. Things that were once exclusively part of queer culture are moving into mainstream. Drag queens are like rock stars now. Queer culture doesn't have to be cliches of hairy men in leather at Folsom Street Fair or lesbians in flannel at Home Depot.
You're exactly right. I draw strength from art in all of these forms and thanks for reminding me. I have ancestors of sisters (and brothers) and support in many forms. And thanks for reminding me that this culture has always been there and I'm a part of it.
Hello, @Prisma! I came out just over three years ago, and I struggled with much the same feelings as you; being torn between fidelity and desiring exploration--not because of the bisexuality itself, but like you, the fact that I didn't have the benefit of coming out (or even acknowledging my orientation) when I was younger. I think it's natural to be dealing with the "what ifs" and "what could have beens". It's normal to wonder what might have been different, and whether it would have been better or worse. Or perhaps like me, it's not that you'd change who you're with, but that you didn't get to experience anything beforehand. The ways I've found most beneficial to work through these conflicting feelings is: honesty with my husband, conversing with other LGBT people (particularly those who share my attractions), journalling, and living vicariously through fictional characters (be they in a movie, tv show, or book). Music is another avenue, if you can find songs that suit your tastes. With time, you'll come to terms with what can't be changed, and you'll be able to move forward and enjoy the present. It's okay to let these feelings run their course; it might be difficult at times, completely overwhelming--but it will get easier. You'll find your place, and when you do, you'll find contentment isn't far behind. @bsg75apollo makes an excellent point too; LGBT culture is everywhere, interwoven with everything else. Now that you've come out, you're more likely to see it where you might have missed it, before.
Exactly! You get it. Thank you so much. When I was growing up and in the appropriate time in my life, I wouldn't have allowed myself to accept any feelings for girls. It's helping to talk to other LGBTQ people, journalling is something I need to take up for more than one reason, and the idea of living vicariously through characters is a good one. Thank you all, for the words of reassurance.
