1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Expression Struggles

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Renegades, Apr 25, 2016.

  1. Renegades

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2016
    Messages:
    226
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Denver
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    At the moment, my biggest problem is being sure of my gender identity, and being able to express my more masculine side. I have always seen myself as female, even though I always played male characters in games growing up, like Aladdin from Aladdin and Simba or Mufasa from The Lion King, or Alex from Madagascar. But now that I am older and know that I am into girls(my age or slightly older of course), I have wondered if I am really all girl. I have fantasized about having short hair, being a guy, and have dressed a bit like a guy when no one else is home. When I commented on how much I liked a snapback at my school's merch store while with my mom, she completely shot me down, refusing to get it because she thought it was too boyish and gangster for me. The next week I went back and got the hat myself with my money. I've kept it a secret from her since buying it, and told her it was a friend's when she saw me wearing it at school one day. She wasn't pleased when I showed her a picture of a short punk hairstyle I wanted to get. It's hard to be open about expressing yourself when you live with someone who controls practically every aspect of your life.
     
  2. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
    Messages:
    1,360
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It is definitely possible to be masculine and still be a woman. Butch or androgynous women exist, and they are awesome.

    I'm sorry your mom isn't being cooperative with your gender expression. It's really frustrating when your parents aren't supportive of you looking the way you want, and there isn't always anything you can do about it. If you think there's a chance of changing her mind, try talking to her about it. Let her know that you feel like more of a tomboy or want to be more androgynous. If you don't think there's a chance of changing her mind, dress as masculinely as she will let you and remember that once you don't live in her house, she can't do a single thing to control how you present yourself.
     
  3. Renegades

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2016
    Messages:
    226
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Denver
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    She does know I am a tomboy, and is totally fine with it. She was a total tomboy too. Her problem is the black and white way she looks at the world.
     
  4. Nike007

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2016
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello. It's not that popular of a topic, but there are different types of androgyne. I identify as mascandrogyne, which means I identify more on the masculine side of the androgyne scale, but there is femandrogyne, which means (in my opinion) that they identify more on the feminine side of the androgyne scale. But I know I'm mascandrogyne because I don't feel like demiboy or FTM. The neutral of the androgyne scale is called versandrogyne I believe.

    You can always identify as a demigirl or masculine female. Depends on how you feel. Hope you figure out yourself :slight_smile:.
     
  5. wanderinggirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,189
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    It's hard when your mom is so hard on you for something that really doesn't matter. What does it matter if you want a short haircut and a snapback? Who is it hurting? What's she afraid of? I know I'm preaching to the choir, I just hope you keep finding ways of being you any way you can.
     
  6. Sharka Sharka

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2016
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I used to fantasize about being a boy years ago, but I don't feel that way anymore. I've always felt like everyone would limit me because of my gender, so I'd always try to prove them wrong. Even though I hated what I was given with, I started to like being a girl. It was me showing them "yes I can". When I tell my friends this, who are girls... they get it. I don't know how else to word this without sounding confusing.

    Anyway, my mom didn't say anything when I started wearing more masculine clothes, but when I began cutting my hair short, she got angry. My parents are incredibly traditional, like they literally believe that pink is for girls and blue is for boys.

    I think you should try telling her that dressing the way you want is what makes you happy and that, it is just who you are. I can't really give you much advice here since nothing's working with my mom either Loool.
     
  7. Irisviel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    410
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    EU
    Maybe consider whether what bothers your mother is masculinity of expression in itself, or just select items of some subcultures. Like, a punk hairstyle. Before you try anything, make sure you know what exactly bothers your parents. It might be just that they don't like their kid to appear as if belonging to, say, punks.
    In my opinion there's nothing wrong with being a punk, but it might be good to know what is that you need to fight for, if you choose to push for your prefered style.

    I used to be denied wearing certain things in spite of their being masculine - simply because my parents disliked the association coming with those items. I was allowed more freedom as I got older.