1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Explaining homosexuality to a hetero woman

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Altruistic blue, May 19, 2017.

  1. Altruistic blue

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2017
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    USA
    Currently I'm going through the questioning stage myself, but I've managed to share my thoughts with my friend, and I told her about the possibility of me not being straight. I'm not sure about what my exact sexuality is, but I do experience attraction to women. My friend doesn't understand the dynamics of female-female relationships and how women can become sexually satisfied from being with women. In her words, "how can a woman become satisfied if there is no way of really having sex without toys or oral??"

    I have never had a sexual experience with women before, so my argument was very limited, but I wanted a better way of explaining how two women feel when they love each other and how they experience sex differently. Any advice would be great and thanks in advance
     
  2. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2014
    Messages:
    3,752
    Likes Received:
    279
    Location:
    BC
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I'm sorry if this sounds crass but perhaps ask her which parts of sex she enjoys. It can't possibly be just the penetration. If that's all she got, would she be satisfied? That is just one part of the whole. If she got every other part minus the penetration, would she be satisfied?

    Everybody likes different stuff during intimacy and we may or may not get or want penetration but that doesn't mean we aren't having a full and meaningful relationship.

    My 2 cents.

    Oh, and btw, any activity which, intentionally and consensually, has the potential to produce an orgasm is sex. No matter what you're doing.
     
  3. Quantumreality

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2016
    Messages:
    5,131
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Altruistic blue,

    I have to agree with Really. Actual sex is about mutual satisfaction (in my opinion). Unless you are specifically trying to procreate, then the main point of sex with your partner is about mutual enjoyment/satisfaction.

    Unfortunately, the true nature and reality of sexuality is not taught to most people. Many of us get a much-watered-down version that comes from the extremes of religious beliefs saying that the ONLY purpose of sexual interaction between two people "must" be for the creation of new life. Well, of course, that negates the millions of times that even these same religious 'zealots' have sex using prophylactics or simply not procreating... Doesn't it?

    In reality, sex creates the closest bond that two people can have, regardless of gender, which creates a wonderful orgasm (as Reality said) for both partners - and again, regardless of the specific type of sexual activity between the two partners.

    My thoughts.
     
  4. Worker Bee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2017
    Messages:
    861
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Manchester
    Gender:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't want to get into details however women can use their hands to pleasure each other but externally and internally.
     
  5. Lynz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2016
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just say one word to her...

    CLITORIS

    Done. (Sorry if that was too upfront lol). I'm a "to-the-point" person, so I'd also point out that her man clearly hasn't found her clit if she needs to ask that question! (Sorry again lol)
     
  6. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    453
    Likes Received:
    540
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Altruistic,
    In my experience, it is all about the deep emotional bond between two women who love each other. The expression of this emotional intimacy, in a sexual way is at the core of sexual satisfaction between two women. There are many ways for women to have sex, that don't include penetration at all (what Lynz said :slight_smile: )

    Not everyone will understand. Especially when sex-ed in schools etc. revolves largely around the sex act of penetration, preventing pregnancy etc., but not, as Quantum said,much about the true nature of expressing ourselves sexually.

    You may not be able to explain this to your friend, but that's okay. Real amateur analogy here...but I for the life of me can't understand how everyone loves hummus, or how people can enjoy deep sea fishing. But people are so varied, what brings beauty, joy and satisfaction into a person's life won't always be understood by someone else.

    Take care!
     
  7. resu

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    10,606
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Sexuality is all mental, and how it is physically expressed depends on the individuals. If anything, it's heterosexuals who are weird because they have to be specifically attracted to someone who looks and acts very different from themselves.
     
  8. Creativemind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    4,468
    Likes Received:
    187
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    But toys and oral are still sex....so why is she hinting "without" them?

    Even straight women might not be satisfied if there was only jackhammer penetration and nothing else.

    Teach her about the clitoris and how many orgasms lesbians have statistically.