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Ex-girlfriend won't leave me alone! Rant + advice wanted.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Meatballs, Jul 1, 2016.

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  1. Meatballs

    Meatballs
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    I broke up with my girlfriend because she was soo jealous (I couldn't like someone else's photo without her getting mad!) and made me feel really bad all the time (constantly making insulting offhanded remarks, turning everything into an argument, etc). I held off breaking up with her for a long time, because I figured it was just me being silly and 'not being happy' was a stupid reason to break up.

    Even though we're not together anymore, she keeps texting me, sitting next to me, etc. I try to ignore her, or tell her to stop, but then she just gets even more mad, saying we should be friends and I'm being rude by avoiding her. At first she starts off nice, saying 'I have no friends, I need you' and whatever, but then goes into 'that was such a pathetic excuse to break up with me' etc. She says she only sits with me because she knows nobody else, but it makes me sooo uncomfortable and tense whenever she's around. I tell her to go away, but she just tells me to 'get over it because I'm sitting here.'

    I thought that by breaking up, she would just leave me alone and I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. Almost everyone I know keeps telling me to just back together with her, because I'm making her really upset and the reason she's hurting herself. There's no way I'm doing that! Any advice?
     
    #1 Meatballs, Jul 1, 2016
  2. confusedbubble

    confusedbubble
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    Tell her to back off, you also need to change your number if she's messaging you all the time. You need to be firm and tell her its over tell her you don't want to be with her any more she's trying to control you with words you need to tell her to leave you alone.
     
    #2 confusedbubble, Jul 1, 2016
  3. resu

    resu
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    She sounds emotionally unstable. Do not try to feed her attention-craving actions. You could try blocking her number and finding other friends to sit with. I'm assuming you both are in school, so if she is really pushy, you may have to talk to your teachers about the harassment.
     
    #3 resu, Jul 4, 2016
  4. mirkku

    mirkku
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    You can normally block her from texting / calling you. Dig into your phone settings and you will find an option like that. If you can't block her, you should at least be able to redirect her texts to the "spam" folder. Having to change your number simply becxause she cannot take a hint will be a bother for you, and she seems to be bothering you far enough already.

    It is sad to read that people side with her simply because "oh no, she's sad, she said YOU make her sad, she's the victim here, you have to go back together with her" -- let's be clear: no. You don't have to do anything. You're not the reason she finds it okay to be super-clingy and to use the oldest, lowest trick in the book - "i'll hurt myself if you leave me!". Abuser much? Avoid. Avoid.

    You talk about her sitting with you, I am assuming you mean at school. As mentioned above, would there be a way for you to go to the principal, your teachers, or some sort of student safety council to complain that she stalks you everywhere and you feel threatened / stressed by it? They might then issue a formal warning to her (after some observation from afar, as some schools do here, dunno about Australia ^^') and it could go up to ensuring that she does not torment you at lunch or in class neither.

    The problem here seems to be that even being firm will not be enough. It's sad that you might have to play "dirty" by getting some form of adult authorities involved, but eh, that too she brought on herself. Harassment is never okay. If she does not understand what "no" and "please go away" means, tough luck, she'll learn.

    Best of luck! Stay strong, sis. (*hug*)
     
    #4 mirkku, Jul 4, 2016
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