It feels like things are starting to crumble, for me. Maybe I'm overreacting. But I've still got to get this out. I had an appointment with my doctor. It was cancelled due to winter weather. But my grandmother still got in for her appointment today. So she talked to the doctor (we have the same doctor) about my being transgender, and about finding a therapist and blah blah blah. So this perfect stranger goes on about how I'm just confused and need somebody to talk to. That there...that just really irked me the wrong way.... So, anyway, he didn't really know who to refer us to. He made one suggestion, which isn't covered by our insurance. I've spoken to one counselling service on my own, and they said that they had no experience at all with gender issues. They said that they could "read up" on it and help me as much as they could, but I doubt that it is a good idea to go through any service who knows less than I do about this.... And so I feel like the structure that I had built up through all of the support that I've had so far has began to crumble back down. I am afraid that I will end up with less-than-decent care. I'm afraid that I will be halted with my pursuit of myself. I'm afraid that I will die as the weird guy who always kept to himself, when I was really the lonely girl who couldn't be herself, and so, instead, was nobody. Maybe I really am just too emotional...but putting it all into words helps.... I'm looking into therapists on my own, and have found two in Jonesboro (a city near me) that claim in their pages that they have experience in gender issues. Maybe I have a chance...but...just feels hopeless. Any advice to this stuff? Handling doctors that don't support this stuff. The possibility of being stuck with an ignorant therapist. All of it.