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Ever rejected a girl's romantic feelings at first and changed your mind later?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by A unicorn, May 13, 2017.

  1. A unicorn

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    So does this ever happen? Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever been on either sides? And if you were the one that rejected, does not having an idea about the girl's feelings till that moment played a role? Does it ever have to do with you being in the closet? I would like to hear your experiences:slight_smile:
     
    #1 A unicorn, May 13, 2017
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  2. Ameryllis

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    I'm really interested to see people's stories on this so I'll boost it! I haven't experienced this, though.
     
  3. Winter Maiden

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    There was once this girl that was the best friend of my best friend. She liked me but I did not like her at the time. Our mutual best friend tried on many occasions to convince me to give her friend a chance. Now that I think about how great she is I regret not giving her a chance but oh well.
     
  4. skittlz

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    I used to like this girl, and there were always rumors that she also liked me. But at the time, I assumed I just liked her in a friendly way. Neither of us actually confessed to eachother by words, but there was one point where I rejected some of her advances, because I thought that maybe she was making fun of me. Also, I kinda assumed she was straight, but she came out to me as gay a couple months after I moved away. It was only after she came out to me, that I was thinking of the old times, when it all made sense. On one hand, I wish I'd realize my feelings sooner. On the other hand it might have been for the best, because at that time, I was emotionally dependent on her in a borderline unhealthy way — and if we did get together, it could've been a disaster. We're now friends.
     
  5. gravechild

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    Somewhat. She felt more strongly towards me, though, while she was more of an acquaintance to me. Years later, a mutual friend said, "Oh, ___? She dated EVERYBODY!" We still talk, now and then.
     
  6. Quantumreality

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    Hey A unicorn,

    I’m going to assume that your question isn’t limited to same-sex (lesbian) situations.

    I had two women that pursued me fairly actively at different times while I was in college. I basically turned them away because I was still totally confused about my sexuality at the time and thought that a relationship with either one of them would cause me more problems rather than be comfortable and maybe help me to feel more comfortable about my sexuality. So, in essence, yes, I rejected both of them because I was basically in the closet, even though I didn’t understand my own closet at the time. LOL!

    In retrospect, I really wish that I had pursued a relationship with at least one of them. They were both really nice women and I think I would have been better off in the longrun if I had simply tried dating one of them. I did some homework on both of them out of curiosity as to why they would want to be with a ‘loser’ like me and found out that both of them were great people and it was definitely unusual for either of them to actively pursue a guy like they did with me. (One was much more persistent – almost to the point of stalking, but not really in a creepy way, at least not creepy to me. It just made me uncomfortable because I was focused on understanding my sexuality from an inward perspective at the time and wanted nothing to do with outward relationships.) Heck, perhaps I’d even be married to one of them today. Who knows?
     
  7. A unicorn

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    Nice hearing your stories. I was asking as it has never happened to me to feel differently about smn but I've been on the side of being rejected by smn at first and liked later.It has happened to some friends that are more indecisive than me though. I was trying to understand how this happens and what makes people change their initial thought and decisions.
     
    #7 A unicorn, May 15, 2017
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  8. BostonStranger

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    I have, but for a good reason. Back in high school I was friends with a bisexual girl. She actually helped me realise that I was bisexual and come out to myself. We eventually developed romantic feelings for each other, but she already had a boyfriend. She wanted to get romantically involved with me and so did I, but it would've been unfair to him, so I told her I didn't want to be intimate with her while she still had a boyfriend. She later cheated on him with someone else. I regretted it somewhat at the time, but now I'm glad I turned her down.
     
  9. Weregild

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    This girl pursued me last year after we started talking on Facebook. I don't know if she really had romantic feelings for me or if she was just trying to date someone to not feel lonely.

    We hung out two times. On the first time she tried to kiss me but since I was not drunk enough and wasn't too much into her I didn't reciprocate and it was awkward. On the second time we hung out together it was during a big party and we were both somewhat drunk. We kissed, walked together for a while, and she "confessed" that she really found me interesting, that she wanted to build a significant relationship with someone since it was her last year at university and she needed good memories. I wasn't too much into her but I think I would've accepted entering a relationship with her on those terms, even if feeling slightly used, if only she had not called me by a wrong name. So i had to tell her that although I appreciated whatever her feelings were for me, I didn't feel the same way and that maybe we should start as friends first. I said that I'd call her to set up a date where we could grab a coffee together and simply talk about life. I never had the courage or interest to talk to her again after that.

    Nowadays, sometimes I think about her, but I think that decision was for the best. Later I found out she has the habit of dating a lot of people and (wow!) using drugs, which I'm not strongly against, but would rather not get myself involved with. I only regret not trying harder to become her friend, since she's one of the few out of the closet lesbians in my university.