Ever had a relationship that played a hand in you changing your sexuality?

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had bad experiences in past relationships.

I do believe it’s possible for a negative experience with one gender to help towards the realisation that your true attractions are for another gender (or genders). So, I was in a long term relationship with a man, which was mostly a bad experience, but elements of that experience did help me to realise that I have no sexual attraction towards men. This was not a decision though, it was a realisation that I came to over time.

However, it’s not possible to change a person’s inherent sexuality. If it was, then anyone could choose to change their sexuality. So, for me, whilst the way that I identified changed, my sexuality stayed the same. I had always been a lesbian, but it wasn’t something that I was consciously aware of until my late twenties.

It is possible, after a bad experience with one gender, to then seek relationships with people of other genders. However, that wouldn’t mean that the person’s inherent sexuality had changed. Therapy might be helpful here in working through and coming to terms with those past negative experiences.

 

Don’t worry about it. Posting on the forum and bouncing off other posts, can really help with clarifying what’s going on. It was a huge help to me when I was questioning and coming to accept my sexuality.

Congratulations on this realisation!