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Ever been rejected?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tigermud, Dec 6, 2019.

  1. Tigermud

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    I have a couple of times.
    On one i reacted badly, but i did know this girl liked me back and she didn't make me feel like a friend anymore, lol it was horrible to confess to her.

    I haven't directly rejected anyone, i sorta hint that im not interested in them.
     
  2. Dreamsexul

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    Focussing only on romantic rejection from people we might have been interested in, I was bullied harshly, especially by all the girls for being fat and ugly, everyday for the six or so years I was at secondary school/sixth form - which left me self-loathing and pretty much unable to form any connection to females. Sometimes women who didn't even know me, and just saw me in the street, would call me names or laugh at me, one even spat on me. I was quite an ugly teen.

    After that, at 19, a girl once pretended to like me in order to try and make my friend, with whom she had a previously relationship with, jealous. She kissed me (my first kiss), and it was disgusting. Then she just blanked me. And another time, around the same age, a very drunk girl kissed me in a pub because her friend wanted to get with my friend. I saw her the next week hoping that maybe she was interested - she wasn't. She ran away.

    Around 22 the only girl who ever showed any genuine interest in me convinced me to ask her out. I wasn't sure I wanted any relationships ever at that point, and I didn't really fancy her, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. We ended up getting married, and it was a total disaster from the start. She's the only person I ever had any form of sexual activity with, and it was terrible for both of us. We had a virtually sexless marriage, slept in separate rooms right from the honeymoon, and she'd had an affair by the end of the first year. We stayed married, and are still married, though now in a QP marriage. We ended up good friends, but the emotional abuse I received from her throughout our marriage, and the toxic environment we lived in, destroyed any remaining vestiges of 'normal' sexuality in me - I became what I am now in my forties: a genderqueer gynephilic inorganic psychesexual/ effective asexual.

    So I guess that's a sort of rejection.
     
  3. alwaysforever

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    Yes. It's a humbling experience. As far as life lessons go, learning to accept rejection and find a way to move on is important. It sure hurts a lot.
     
  4. Ryu

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    I asked a girl out in year 6 and she beat me up lol
     
  5. Tigermud

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    Ohh that's not good. I hope shes grown up to regret that
     
  6. Wendyo23

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    Many times you can't let it get you down
     
  7. Ryu

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    N
    Nah probably not it was pretty funny looking back
     
  8. Tigermud

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    Lol i know what you mean.
     
  9. Chizu

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    I've been rejected, but I've also rejected other people. Whenever I feel lonely, I try to remind myself that I pretty much chose to be lonely. Knowing I have chosen to be single can bring on worse feelings than thinking I'm single because everyone rejects me, but it can be more sobering at times.
     
  10. Rorschach

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    I am gay I think, I am still trying to figure that out. I although have only rejected one girl in my life and later changed that. This girl I new we had basically been a couple but not officially, (you know how those things work) and she was suicidal. I saved her life and she wanted to be more than friends, I told her no. After some time she got better and then we dated. a week later she was in the hospital and after that we broke up, she still wanted to be with me but I had to reject her which didn't feel nice. So my advice to you is that sometimes being lonely is ok, It gives you time to focus on yourself. I am in no position to give advice on being gay and what not in fact I am in a really horrid rut of self loathing right now. But don't view being a lone as a bad thing view it as a status, not a death sentence. But I feel where you are man, I truly do. I hope you get outta your personal hell.
     
  11. Chierro

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    I've been rejected a lot. Most I was able to handle easily (of course, the ones that rejected me purely based on my body hurt), but some took more time. The ones that weren't as easy to take were situations where the guys weren't exactly clear (ghosting). The hardest rejection I've had to take was this guy I was online friends with for pretty much all of high school. I fell for him hard, we talked a LOT and during my freshman year of college and his senior year of high school he gave super confusing signals of alternating between pushing me away and talking and it got confusing. We ultimately had to have several long conversations about what we meant to each other and it's honestly still quite complicated.

    On non-romantic notes, since June I've been rejected from 13 different jobs I've applied for. Still waiting to hear from #14 and #15 is coming up. Getting rejected is definitely a learning experience on how to cope with things.

    As for doing the rejecting, I've had to do it a few times to rebuff girls. Mainly in high school but once in college. I'm not the most masculine, straight-seeming dude, but apparently I come off as straight to some girls and have attracted interest. In high school at least two of my close female friends were into me and it got awkward for a time. It sucks to do it, but sometimes it's necessary.
     
  12. HM03

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    Not explicitly rejected. Got ghosted/cold shouldered a bit on apps and stuff though lol.
     
  13. Devil Dave

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    Well I told one guy I had a huge crush on that i liked him and he just shrugged it off. Then a few years later I saw him on a dating app and asked him why nothing ever happened between us and he said "sorry, just didn't fancy you" and when I asked what type of blokes he goes for he said "I don't know, I don't think I have a type". Great, so he doesn't know what kind of guy he finds attractive, he just knew he didn't fancy me.
     
  14. Rorschach

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    I am actually going through the rebuffing girls part right now, The gym I go to has this girl who works there and we talk. She is really interested in me but I am trying to figure out the gay part of me. Also a girl I know likes me which is awkward, My dad thinks I am very straight because I am masculine and just play along with the game. He keeps pocking fun at me with girls and picking them up but... Like I say I am not in the market right now.
     
  15. Dreamsexul

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    Is there a positive part to rejection?

    I think so. If I hadn't had been rejected all those years ago, I wouldn't be who I am now. It's horrifically painful, cripplingly so, but ultimately I think I'm better off being what I am than as I was ...
     
  16. Tigermud

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    Hey,
    That seems really tough. I think sexuality has nothing to do with how feminine or masculine you come across.

    Like if you want to explore your sexuality with men i think you certainly should.

    I think we get lost in straight being "the norm" so we keep classing ourselves in stereotypes of sexuality. Plus it's got nothing to do of how other people think, only what you think.
     
  17. Chierro

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    Rebuffing the girls in high school was awkward but easy, I just never got anywhere near that subject with them. The girl in college was harder because we were working a summer camp together on campus and I didn't even really know her but she was making it very clear she was into me. It's a whole long story, but ultimately I had to go to our head counselor and ask her for her help because she knew I was gay and she had been seeing how weird the girl had been acting around me.

    I think doing the rebuffing and rejecting becomes easier the more comfortable you get with yourself. In high school, I wasn't really out at all so I had to figure out how to reject them without coming out and not making it seem like it wasn't that I wasn't attracted to them or anything like that. Once I became comfortable with being gay it became a whole lot easier to be like, "Hey, appreciate it, but I'm into dudes."
     
  18. Rorschach

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    I didn't mean to
    Cause any offense. Of course there is masculine and feminine people, that's not a gay thing that is a human thing. But I feel my dad would jump to that conclusion
     
  19. Devil Dave

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    It is far better to receive an outright rejection than to have someone fob you off with excuses.

    When I first came out, lots of guys were asking me out, and instead of just saying "no" or "I'm not interested" I would come up with the lamest excuse I could think of on the spot "I can't go out that night, I'm going to a party..." or "I've got relatives coming over". There were some guys I actually gave my number to, only to ignore their calls.

    If I had just said No in the first place I would have saved myself and them a lot of trouble. I kept thinking to myself "this kind of behavior is going to bite me on the ass some day" and it did. I ended up falling for someone who said we could hang out together some day, but always had some excuse for not meeting every time I tried to arrange something. And I kept thinking he's busy, it's not a good time for him. Maybe next time. Eventually I had to stop trying because it was making me feel like a creepy stalker. And that's one of the last things I want to feel as a gay man.
     
  20. Rorschach

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    I'm
    I'm sorry to hear your story,but i hope everything is better now. Rejecting girls has been a hard thing for me I always wanted to test the waters subconsciously testing if I was gay. I also had that safety net to fall back into inc case my dad ever thought I was gay. But as I approach college I hope it will be easier